


Lost Innocence

by WritingWren



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Mafia AU, More characters might be added, but it's gonna be slow burn most likely, ereri, finally decided that there'll be some
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-01-25 13:55:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1651061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingWren/pseuds/WritingWren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't know what this is nor what will become of it. I just wanted a mafia AU so badly that I wrote it myself.</p><p>"The Mafia is a powerful underground organization. Grisha Yeager, as a doctor, was not one of them of course, although he worked for the leader of one of the most powerful clans: The Cascioferro. When he is killed after trying to betray them, the head of the family decides to take in his son. He will soon have to learn that in the Mafia nobody can stay innocent."</p><p>(If this continues there will be Ereri most likely, but I don't know yet.)</p><p>[Levi's POV if not stated otherwise]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rainy days

**Author's Note:**

> All I know about the Cosa Nostra is what I read about it on Wikipedia, so I might make terrible mistakes, please correct me if you see I'm wrong!  
> I might change some details about the clans and their hierarchy etc. though.
> 
> Oh and I borrowed some information of [this man](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vito_Cascioferro) for Levi (mostly because he needed a family name) ^^
> 
> ...  
> ...  
> [okay so I thought about this for a long time. Usually I always try to stick to reality (at least when my setting isn't in a fantasy world or a parallel universe or something), but this time I won't. I'll only take the basic idea of 'Mafia' and it's structures; since I'm writing this for the plot and not for the setting u vu I feel much better now]
> 
> And now, enjoy reading my little AU \\(^o^)/

The rain was getting worse. It hadn't stopped for almost three days now, not even slightly, and in Levi's opinon all it did was getting worse, just like his mood.

He had just killed a man, killed him by himself actually, because he'd been fucking pissed. Usually he'd let his men do the work for him. But Grisha Yeager had overworked his own luck as well as Levi's patience. Doctor Grisha Yeager to be precise. He'd worked for Levi for some time now, had smuggled stuff out of the hospital that was meant to be medicine but far better used as drugs.

He'd done well. He'd brought Levi what he demanded, what he wouldn't have gotten that easily otherwise, and of course he'd been paid for it. As a capofamiliga, the head of his family or its boss to put it simple, Levi had his principles. That he was so young, only 20, had made things difficult in the beginning, since most of his men, the members of his family, were older than him. But slowly, patiently, he had gotten rid of those who weren't as loyal as he wanted them to be and replaced them with people he could trust.

He had thought he could trust Grisha as well. As an outsider, not a full member, he'd always done his job without even getting caught. But then he'd changed. He'd taken in his son, Levi knew that much. Whatever had happened to the mother was not important. Most likely she was dead.

Becoming a father, taking care of that boy, Grisha had been more and more troubled with smuggling. He had planned on betraying Levi and his men. Telling everything to the police and then moving somewhere else, as far away as possible. What a fool.

"Did you really think this would work? That I, the head of one of the three big clans, wouldn't find you? Did you really think you could escape?" He asked the dead body lying to his feet. He'd tortured him a little, just for fun, because he'd been really pissed.

" _You know what?_ " he'd asked in the end, bowing down so that his mouth had been at the other man's ear. He wasn't sure if Grisha had heard his words though. " _Since you're leaving behind a kid, rest assured.  I'll take care of him myself._ " After that he had simply shot Grisha in the head, a last service for a man he had liked somehow.

The noises of the rain pattering against the windows got louder. Time to look for that kid. A teen, as much as he knew. Maybe, if he wasn't too old already, he could still be of use to Levi.

Another noise, just a wee bit louder than the rain pouring down outside. A door opening; the pitter-patter getting even louder. Levi turned around, only to see a rather tall silhouette rushing out.

Levi let out a sigh. Damn brat, causing trouble already.

Well, he could run, but he wouldn't get away from him -he had to know that. Levi liked that, though. That the boy moved, that he acted, instead of being paralyzed.

He followed him outside and got into the car that was waiting. Some of his men would take care of Grisha and the house later. Tragically there would be some kind of cable fire, burning down the whole house together with Grisha and his son. They'd get another body instead of the real one though, since Levi had decided to take him in.

"Follow the boy, Mike, would you?"

"With pleasure, Sir," the blonde answered smiling as he already started driving. Knowing his boss for more than a year -and actually, knowing Levi himself even longer- he knew what to do without being told. They followed him, slow enough so that he had to notice they were after him if he turned around.

The boy was wearing a green hoodie, easy to see even when the rain poured down like this. He ran, and Levi had to admit that he had quite some stamina. He didn't seem to be the smartest though. Levi would've left the main streets long ago, entering alleys and getting lost in the smaller side streets.

A little smile played upon his lips as he saw the boy look back, eyes widened in fear and becoming even bigger when he finally noticed the car. He turned to the side streets at last. Clever enough to chose one where the car couldn't follow him. Mike stopped.

"Sir?" he asked.

"Wait for me here," Levi replied. "I'm gonna get him myself." This was auguring to be some fun.

"Understood."

As a boss Levi didn't get to have that much fun anymore. He was one of the three most powerful people in all of Italy, but usually he was making the deals now. He was forming alliances, dealing with traitors, although they were rare, leading his men... This could be satisfying, doing something by himself again, all alone for a while. Moreover, the boy belonged to Grisha, which he had decided to take care of.

He followed him into the alleys, getting wet and more pissed now. He hated getting wet. Levi didn't run, since that would've made noises which could cover the pitter-patter of the boy's steps which he followed.

Did he know that the path he had chosen led into a dead end? Well, Levi did. This was his clan's area and he had been an ordinary soldier himself long enough to know every street, every alley, every inch of it. All he had to do was letting the boy run until he couldn't anymore.

When he reached the dead end he saw the kid desperatly trying to climb one of the refuse containers to get over the wall. His hand slipped and he fell back down with a thud and a little squeal.

Levi approached him, his face over the boy's now. Raindrops gathered at his hair-ends and fell down on the kid's cheeks. Levi rised an eyebrow.

"Are you done with running, kid?"

The younger man stared at him with amazingly blue-ish green eyes; bobbed up and stumbled away, back until the wall stopped him.

Levi could see how his brain worked. How he scanned the place for something he could use as a weapon. Cute.

It was enough now. Levi was dripping wet, his suit ruined which made him pissed but was compensated by the fun he had. The excitement of a simple, good old hunt.

The boy didn't look better than him, totally soaked, on top of that scared to death and still panting heavily. Slowly, carefully, Levi took out his gun and put the silencer on it.  He pointed it at the boy, who winced.

"It's over," he stated.

The kid swallowed. And despite this, despite his total defeat, suddenly some fighting spirit blazed in his eyes.  
As he hadn't found any weapon -actually there were at least three Levi could see but the brat was too spoiled and naive to notice- he simply raised his fists.

"Fuck off!" The desperate bark of a stray that's been cornered beyond hope. Levi could see how the boy needed all his courage not to shiver, not to tremble and just give up. His voice had been far too shrill to give Levi the picture of a confident, worthy oponent. No... he was a puppy.     

Enough was enough. The boy had to learn that his life would change -that it had already. That he was Levi's from now on, if the man decided to keep him. That all he had to do from now on was obeying his new master. And he better learned that lesson fast.

The gunshot wasn't loud thanks to the silencer. Of course Levi hadn't aimed at the boy directly. The bullet hit the wall right next to his head, making him wince and let out a cry. At least he didn't piss his pants. Levi would never have let him in the car if he had and everything would've gotten complicated.

"Ya won't speak to me in such a tone," Levi lectured.

Another shot, at the other side of the boy's head. "You can address me as 'Sir' for the time being."

He pointed the gun at the kid's shoulder, the right one since he thought the brat was right handed. At least that had been the fist he'd held back, the one which had been prepared to punch, and something like that always was a hint. "If you disobey any further I'm gonna shoot you for real. And I fucking know where it hurts most. Understood?"

There was a second of silence. A second where the boy's eyes darted from the gun to Levi back to the gun before he gave in. He slouched his shoulders as the tension vanished, leaving him even more vulnerable.

"Yes... Sir." He was a quick learner.

"Good boy." A little smile played upon Levi's lips as he put the gun away. He turned around and simply snapped his fingers. "Come."

He was well aware of the fact that, for the boy, it had to look like he was unarmed right now, what's more showing him his back. It was the simplest test: Would the brat attack him or not? If yes training him would be more difficult -maybe too difficult to keep him. In that case Levi would've killed him off right here and now most likely. If not, everything was alright. He was quite confident that the boy would obey though.

And he did. Followed him to the car and got in at the sign of Levi.

"Get us home, Mike," Levi ordered, and the blonde man nodded and started driving again.

The kid had fallen silent, staring at his hands clenched in his lap. No hint of what he was thinking. Levi wondered if he'd understood himself that he wasn't allowed to speak if not to answer a question or if he was just in thoughts. 

When they arrived at the mansion Levi let out a relieved sigh. Home again. He'd get out of this clothes and into the shower first, before dealing with the kid.

"I'll leave that stray in your care, Mike, get him a room and some clothes," he said as he already walked down the hallway.

* * *

[The boy's POV ;)]

"Yes, Sir," the blonde replied, as the much shorter man walked away already. He was even shorter than I myself! Just how could he be so scary? A shiver went down my spine as I remembered the glare of those eyes upon me, cold and hard. A colour somewhere between grey and blue, but it had been difficult to see through the rain. I had felt the look on my face, on my body, though. And what was it with that aura of pure violence? This man was dangerous, even more so, he was _scary_. He scared me beyond rhyme and reason. I'd have done whatever he had told me to do even without the other one pointing a gun at me.

And this mansion! It was just like in the movies, a huge house in the back, walls around the property and a wrought iron gate we had passed with the car after that Mike-guy had confirmed it was us.

I couldn't stop staring as I followed the blonde. There were candleholders on the walls, although there were modern lamps at the ceiling as well. And, at some points, expensive looking carpets. Mike stepped on them without even noticing.

All in all this house seemed to be a mix of old and new, telling from a long history but not stuck in it.

My guide led me to a simple guest room that had got its own bath.

"Ya gonna take a shower while I get some clothes for you," he ordered with some kind of natural, firm authority that didn't even make me question what he'd said.

I found a towel and soap and just did how I'd been told to. Actually the shower was a pretty good thing, getting out of the wet clothes as well. My situation was something else though, as I thought when the water started to warm me up again. 

 _Let's see... The shorty_ -even thinking of him like that made me shiver; as if the man would look straight into my head and find the word. I corrected myself. _The... boss... killed Dad. Dad's dead. I'm all alone. I'm an orphan._

I needed a moment to let that sink down. Allowed myself to cry silently as the water ran down my face.

_And the ...boss has decided to keep me, what for I don't know. Maybe he just wants to kill me later. Or maybe he won't if I don't give him a reason._

Just what had happened? This morning -had it really been today?- I had been a normal Teenager of 15 years, leaving the house for school. And now I was in some kind of bad remake of 'The Godfather'? Just what the fuck...?

There was a knock on the door.

"Oi, brat, move yer lazy ass already, I don't have time all day!" I heard Mike shout over the noises of the shower. I winced and hurried, getting to the door as fast as possible.

"I'm sorry!" I said as I opened it, hair still wet. Just to get a bunch of clothes thrusted into my hands.

"Here ya go, boy. Dunno why the boss has such an interest in you but he's gonna have his reasons, eh?" the blonde muttered, more to himself than to me.

"Actually my name is-"

"Cut it out! You're not gonna talk unless you're asked something, understood?"

I swallowed and nodded. "Understood."

"Good. The door will be open but I advise ya to stay in here like a good boy till somebody comes to get ya." He left me alone with my thoughts.

The new clothes didn't fit perfectly, the pants a little short and the shirt definitely made for someone bigger than me, but all in all it wasn't that bad.

_Hey, I could be dead already and I'm not, that's really something!_

The thought almost made me laugh. I concentrated on my breathing until I'd calmed down a little. The last thing I needed was a breakdown.

I hesitated. Went to the door. Lay my hand on the handle. It really was open. I peered into an empty corridor. Nobody to be seen. I could just leave, couldn't I? Make a run for it before one of them came back.

But then I remembered the walls and the gate. I wouldn't bet on it opening for me. They'd bring me back before I'd count to ten, and then I would be in trouble. Not that I wasn't in some deep shit already. Frustrated I banged the door just to wince at the noise when I remembered that I wasn't at home.

Threw myself on the bed since I couldn't do something else and slowly fell asleep to the rain pattering against the window. When I closed my eyes and ignored the strange scent I could imagine lying in my own bed at home. 

And maybe I would wake up from this nightmare and tell Dad about it and he'd ruffle through my hair and laugh at me for even thinking that he was dead...

* * *

 


	2. Starting from the scratch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY DID IT  
> I'm sorry it took so long, but here you go ^o^  
> Enjoy reading and don't forget to give me some feedback~

The rain had stopped by the next morning, something that lifted Levi's mood.

He set out for his workroom, where Mikasa was waiting already.

"Good morning, boss," she greeted respectfully. Much better then that other brat... Levi banished this thought. He'd deal with the boy later. There was other business now, business that might be even more important.

"Good morning," he replied.

They got in and took their seats, Levi behind the solid oak desk, Mikasa in front of it.

"You wanted to speak to me?" She asked out of courtesy. The reason for this conversation was obvious. 

"Yes. How did it go yesterday? Your first kill."

Considering her age -she was only 14- she was far too young. Not to mention that she was a girl. Women were pretty rare within the mafia, Levi only knew about two other.

Of course there were the wifes, who held their very own kind of power. The girl in front of him would never fit to be one of them though. She was a fighter, a soldier.

Mikasa had been eight years old when her parents had sold her to the mafia. Back then Levi hadn't even been the Don.

He'd been as old as she was now; surprised how fast and resolute the girl had abandoned the family that had abandoned her before. She willingly had become one of the dogs to become a real part of the clan; she'd fulfilled every assigned task, and after some time had passed she had started to ask some of the older men to teach her how to fight.

They'd agreed, taking it lightly at first; a joke by a little girl. But soon it had been obvious that she was a natural talent. By now, about six years later, her combat skills were better than the ones of some grown up members. 

Usually kids younger than 16 -at least- weren't allowed to take the step of their first kill; Mikasa wasn't usual though.

When she'd asked for it, determined and level-headed, he'd given his permission after thinking about it for a while.

She'd been so eager to kill her first man that it would've been a bad sign in any other case. Even in the mafia killing for the sake of it was off limits. _Especially_ in the mafia -death was a business.

Levi wouldn't have given her his permission if he'd thought that'd been her reason.

Nonetheless he'd told her to see him the morning after. Just to make sure his decision had been the right one.

"Everything went well. I'm alright."

Levi could tell she was lying. Mikasa was pale, bags under her eyes bearing witness to way too little sleep.

That was what the young Don had wanted to see. People who weren't troubled by killing for the first time were dangerous people.

"That's good to hear. Did you have breakfast already?"

She shook her head.

"Me neither. Let's get something to eat then, shall we?"

Mikasa opened her mouth, most likely to protest, to tell him she wasn't hungry or some bullshit, but he didn't hear her out. "Eating nothing won't make it better, girl. You'll eat something, that's an order."

* * *

In fact, Mikasa did eat something; a whole orange. Well, better than nothing. The big dining room -a remnant from over 105 years ago, when the house had been built- was almost empty; everyone else had had breakfast already.

It was Levi to break the silence. "We're going to hold the ceremony tonight. You should try to get some sleep beforehand... and before that, would you mind getting me the newbie? He's in one of the guest rooms."

"A newbie?" she asked irritated. She would've known already if she hadn't been busy with her first kill.

"Yeah. I found him yesterday when I was dealing with a small fry and decided to take him in."

Levi could see the questions in her eyes; why he'd done a mission by himself and whom he'd found who was interesting enough to take him in spontaneously. She didn't ask though, only nodded and left.

When she came back with the boy in tow Levi could almost see the sparks flying. Whatever she'd said or done had made the boy's blood boil and most likely he'd countered with something that'd left her not much less angry. Maybe he would've better asked Mike... But as his second-in-command the blonde had other tasks than being a runaround.

Mikasa left a second time, to get some sleep this time -or try at least- and Levi was alone with the boy.

There was silence as the mafia boss just eyed him up; really, that brat was as easy to read as a book. All his emotions were in his eyes, on his face and his posture. First of all there was anger, piled up from yesterday and from his first meeting with Mikasa. Then, of course, fear. Since the kid didn't know what Levi had planned for him; he didn't know what was gonna happen -all he knew was that the decision didn't lie in his own hands any longer but in Levi's. Nervousness, mixed with something else, sadness or desperation maybe.

From what he'd seen the boy was rather hot-headed. Some time soon he wouldn't be able to choke those feelings any longer -so Levi better constrained him to do that now. They'd settle this once and for all and then they'd start for real. He waved him closer.

"Come here."

Hesitantly, the brat obeyed. He seemed confused -most likely he hadn't expected to find the man who'd scared him to death yesterday that composed and relaxed. Yesterday Levi had been pissed, wanting to get everything over with as soon as possible to get out of the fucking rain and back home. He knew about his impact on others -and if he had to he would show the boy that he could be like that any time.

Time to drop his bombshell.

He handed him the local newspaper and watched him tensing up at the headline.

**TRAGIC GAS EXPLOSION!**   
**-A father and his son died in the flames-**

The boy clenched his teeth; to Levi's surprise he didn't seem sad at all, rather angry. Well, he would get angrier. In a way, this was fun.

"Congratulations," Levi said. "You're officially dead now!" He gave that information a moment to sink in before he continued. "Ya know what that means? We can start from the scratch. Let's give ya a name first." Levi pretended to think about this, although he'd already made the decision.

"I like Eren." The words had something definite, something unchangeable. The name kinda fit the boy. Levi only knew it through coincidence; years ago it had been the name of his first kill.

"Say, Eren..." Levi continued after a moment of complete silence. "Do you hate me?"

Before the boy could react, the big double door flew open and a little girl rushed in.  
"Ya won't catch me if ya run that slow!" she shouted over her shoulder. When she noticed the room wasn't as empty as she had thought she stopped abruptly.

Brown, curly hair, bound back to a ponytail and even bigger, brown eyes. Sasha. Who else?

"Good morning, uncle," she said, trying to sound far more grown-up than she was with her seven years.

"Good morning," he replied, raising an eyebrow. "But shouldn't you be somewhere else, Sasha? Somewhere called library? Doing something called learning?" 

He could see her blush, her cheeks reddening slightly as she looked away for a second.

"Carla got ill suddenly, so we have a day off."

"I see." He could easily imagine what had caused that illness. Those kids were creative. "I suppose she'll get better soon." His tone left no doubt that she would and that, if something like this ever was to happen again, it would have consequences.

Sasha nodded and Levi let out a sigh.

"So where's Connie?" he asked. The little boy with the clean shaved head was her partner in crime usually. Most of the time the both of them were to be seen together, not to mention he'd have school together with her.

She shook her shoulders. "He was too slow to catch up to me, so maybe he's gone playing something else..." Sasha took his arm. "Uncle?" she asked, with all the worry of a sensitive seven-year-old kid in her voice. Her eyes darted to Eren and back to Levi. "Who's that?"

Levi looked at the boy as well. "He's a newbie. His name is Eren and starting today he's gonna be one of the dogs. He's not dangerous." He gave her a little push. "And now go play with Connie."

When she was half way to the door he cat-called at her. "Oh and, Sasha?" She turned around. "Carla might not be a member of the family, but she is your teacher and a friend. And we don't do to our friends what you and Connie did. Am I understood?"

She nodded quickly. "Yes uncle!"

Those kids... Levi had never been good with kids, although they still liked him for some reason. He was a killer, a cold-hearted man who didn't show many emotions. Dot had been far better; more like a grandfather when he was at home, although he had been a very scary old man if needed.

The former don was dead though, while Levi had taken his place without even thinking he could ever do it at first. He would've never lasted if it hadn't been for Mike... Enough of the past now, when he needed to take care of the future.

"Answer me," he demanded.

The boy winced. "What?" He asked confused, more out of reflex as it seemed.

Levi raised an eyebrow. "I asked you a question, brat. Do ya hate me?"

Eren shook his head, his teeth still clenched, his hands still fists. Not very convincing.

"Brat, you're a really bad lier. And I don't like liers. Answer me." He raised his voice only a bit; just enough to remind Eren of his situation.

The boy looked down and swallowed. "Yes," he admitted finally.

"There we go! But now we've got a little problem, haven't we? Because now that you're officialy dead there's no other place for you to go to. Not to mention that my clan has got quite some enemies; by now those enemies know that you're here. If you leave they'll be after you as well and you'll be all by yourself, without any protection or shelter...

We could help you though. Starting somewhere else without having to fear for your life would be all about money." Levi gave the boy a moment to let this information sink in. "Let's play a little game, shall we? If you win, you're free to go and we'll help you out with all the money problems. If I win, you're still free to go but ya wouldn't get any help from us. In case ya decide to stay you'll have to follow our rules of course."

Not that the boy would have any choice but to agree. And of course he did, nodded warily.

"Alright then!" Levi said as he stood up. "The game's 'fight', whoever takes the first hit loses. Follow me."

He led the boy through the corridors to the old ball room. At least the huge room with the high ceiling had been built as one a long time ago. Over the years it had changed though, one of the former dons, back when it had been really popular, had even built a boxing ring. Nowadays it had become some kind of gym.

"It's your choice of weapon," he told the boy who at least tried to hide his astonishment. Just to stay a little fair. Not that he wouldn't lose anyway. 

As the head of the family Levi was confident in his abilities. Every capo had to be strong in as many ways as possible, because the clan would stand or fall with him -or the other way round.

"Fists," Eren replied a moment later.

Clever; since he had seen Levi using the gun he must have assumed that this wasn't the only weapon the Don could wield. From what Levi could see as he simply nodded and led him to a corner of the room where the wooden floorboards had been exchanged with mats some years ago, the boy was rather confident in his skills.

Most likely he had fought like this before. He was the kind of guy who would fight others who provoked or offended him. 

What he didn't know was that hand-to-hand-combat was Levi's speciality. Because he was short people expected him to be physically weak. Well, whoever tried to fight him found out pretty soon that he wasn't.

That he wasn't a towser, big and all muscular, that his suit hid most of his muscles, didn't mean he had none.

He took off his jacket, wondering if he should take off his shirt as well for a second but then decided that it wasn't worth it. This wouldn't take more than one minute or two.

They faced each other; Levi didn't move, just to see what Eren would do. He didn't have to wait long.

The boy made the first move; a punch with his right. Well, at least he tried. Levi had expected him to do this, since he'd tried it before when he'd been cornered. He simply avoided the hit, causing Eren to beat his head against the metaphorical stone wall. He was showing Levi his back now, and the young don used his chance to get this over with. A fast kick in his kidneys, strong enough to bring Eren to his knees but not as strong that he would take serious damage.

He could've played with him more but he had other stuff to do; Erwin would visit in a few hours to talk about the alliance.

"Well, well! I won." Levi said in a mocking tone. He watched the boy getting up again. He had to admit that he did so pretty fast.

"So, what will you do now?" Levi asked. "What will it be? Staying or running?"

He watched Eren clenching his hands, utterly defeated fair and square -well at least more or less. Levi wouldn't wait forever. If he didn't say something soon, the young don would. He didn't have to.

"I want to stay," the teen muttered quietly, his eyes on the floor.

"What did you say? I can't hear you." Was this mean? For sure. But also kinda fun.

"Please let me stay!" Eren almost shouted, looking him directly into the eyes now. What a determined little brat. It had been this look in his eyes that had saved his life yesterday. That had gotten Levi interested in him. He would make a pretty good guard one day -if someone took the time to train him properly, of course. Well, he would.

"Alright," Levi answered with a rare little smile playing upon his lips. "If you want it that much..."


	3. Basement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have decided that I will write Eren as a first person narrator. It's not because he's more important than Levi, or because he is the 'real main character'. It's just that he doesn't feel like a third person character in this fic... I still don't know if it's a good idea to have both a first- and a third person narrator though...
> 
> Anyway... enjoy \\(^o^)/
> 
> [Eren's POV here]

The first time had been hard.

The mafia was an underground organization with its own rules -very strict ones- and a clear hierarchy. There were different clans, on top of each of them the head of the family. Capofamilia, Boss, Don -all those words described the same thing, the same position, hold by the strongest member of the clan. Each Don had got his second-in-command, just in case something happened to him. For the Cascioferro those were Don Levi and Mike.

Next to them were the full members, people who had dedicated their lifes to the clan and the Don. They took care of most of the clan's business.

There were also the wifes, but their position was a complex one; they raised the children and future members of the family and most of the time they took care of newbies as well. Most likely they would also raise the next capo and this gained them a lot of influence. They were the clan's mothers. And as simple as this sounds, it meant a lot.

They literally were mothers not only to the clan's children but also to any other member, since everybody who became a member of the family had to abandon his old one. And one's mother is always heard and -most of the time- obeyed. 

After the few weeks I had been with them already I still wasn't sure where to put them in the clan's hierarchy. All I knew for sure was that they were above me. Everybody was. I was one of the so called 'dogs'.

The dogs were the people who wanted to become full members for one reason or the other. We were the ones to do the scutwork, whatever we were told to do and most of the time we were treated friendly. We wore grey T-Shirts, blue Jeans and white sneakers. Every dog had accepted his current position, knowing that at some point they would get the chance to become a full member, someone who was allowed to wear the black suit.

I was different though. I was one of the dogs, but not out of my free will. I'd never wanted to become a part of the mafia, _hell,_ I hadn't even wanted -I hadn't expected- to get in contact with them somehow! In my old life 'the mafia' had been more of a legend, something from the movies. Something that sounded cool at first, but if you thought about it for a while you were happy you got nothing to do with it. I had been the same.

Until the day my father had opened the door to a short stranger, wearing a black suit with a white shirt. A stranger with a voice as hard as the look in his steel grey eyes. I had seen everything from upstairs, luckily not being noticed myself because of the way our house had been built.

Not that it had mattered in the end though. I had seen them talking although I hadn't been able to understand much, since they had spoken with hushed voices. The stranger had been totally calm, almost _too_ relaxed, while my father had become more and more nervous.

And then, at some point, the stranger had put out a gun. He had shot my father, not in his head but in his knee. He hadn't even stopped talking. My father's cry had drowned my own. The gun itself -the shot- had been totally silent. As silent as the next ones were. I hadn't moved an inch -I hadn't been able to. Something deep within me had known that my father had been a dead man the moment I had seen his reaction to the other one when he'd opened the door.

The other one, indeed, had been Levi, Don of the Cascioferro clan.

I had gathered all of my courage and sneaked out of the front door behind his back. I hadn't cared for the rain, just ran for my life. And then he had caught me, as simple as that is. He had caught me like a dog, named and treated me like one, but back then I had found out that my will to survive -surprisingly- was even bigger than my pride.

Levi had made clear who of us was the stronger one from the very beginning. Not that it had been necessary. I'd been scared to death by him -I still was. And I still didn't know what he really wanted from me. Then again, a mere dog didn't need to know what its owner was up to. For now I couldn't do anything but obey any order without causing trouble.

I had buried the one I had been, my former self with his friends and homework, together with my old name. I was Eren now.

The first two weeks had been the hardest part. I'd woken up soaked in sweat after strange, scary nightmares, not knowing where I was at first. More than one time I couldn't hold back a scream, waking up my new roommates. I'd moved in with them from the guest room; a long time ago this floor must've been the servant's, now most of the rooms were the dog's. As for my roommates...

Marco was a nice guy, short black hair, light brown eyes and freckles -he was like a short haired Jesus, I couldn't think of better words. He was such a nice guy that I wondered what had gotten _him_ of all people into the mafia.

The other one, Jean, was an asshole. Intense, brown eyes, and a horseface. His hair was short and light brown, but on the sides and back trimmed even shorter and in a darker hue -did he think that was cool or something? Because it wasn't.

He was a dickhead, always picking fights. I couldn't believe that he was two years older than me, with such a childish behaviour. And just how could a nice guy like Marco follow him everywhere he went? 

Nothing of my business though, I had enough own problems to deal with. 

* * *

I was standing in front of the solid oak desk in the Don's office. The atmosphere was heavy, as if the former leaders of the family had each left a piece of them in this room. There were bookshelfs at the sides, a cupboard and portraits of deceased capos on the walls.

Those were long gone though, while the current one -who was my real problem- sat right in front of me, behind the desk. I wondered what I had done to be summoned like this. As far as I knew I hadn't done anything. I'd followed any order, just as I was supposed to. Was it my fights with Jean? But those weren't even getting phsysical... yet. I was quite sure they would some time. Some time soon if he continued being such an asshole.

We even had been scolded already because we'd been too loud, by other dogs -our seniors literally- and some of the mothers as well. And everything because Mr. Horseface had to be such an ignorant dimwit! He just didn't know when to stop!

That couldn't be the reason, could it? I highly doubted that something like ...well, dog fights, would be important enough for the Don himself to waste his time. I _hoped_ it wouldn't be important enough. On the other hand, he had even caught me himself and forced me to join the mafia although I hadn't been any different from other fifteen-year-olds... Did that make me special somehow?

I could only pray that it didn't. I didn't believe in god though... so not the best chances for my prayers to be heard. Damn. I really couldn't think of any big enough mistakes to be summoned... _Damn_. Don Levi, as short as he was, was also the most intimidating man I'd ever met. Being in the same room as him still made me nervous.

I wasn't here for more than three weeks -or was it four already? Anyway, I hadn't seen much of him till now, and I had considered myself very lucky. Seemed like that streak of luck had ended.

"Sit down," his deep voice interrupted my thoughts as he pointed at one of the chairs in front of the desk. I startled and hurried to follow his order -I didn't know if I was in trouble yet, and his face that barely showed any emotion was not of much help either, nor was his voice.

"I hear you're doing quite good." He really was one to cut straight to the chase.

"Yes, Sir." _What else do you expect me to do?_ He only nodded at that slightly.

"I suppose you don't know why you're here."

 _How the fuck should I?_ If not...

"Sir, if it's about that thing with Jean, I'm sorry I-"

"Shut yer trap, would you?" I broke off. "You aren't here because of anything 'with Jean' -I don't even care for your dog fights. You're here because you might just take quite some work off Mike's shoulders. I didn't have any time for you till now in the last few weeks, and he hadn't either...

The thing is: Usually, if you'd wanted to become a dog we'd do some research about you first. Obviously, in your case, we couldn't. So, before Mike has to go through all the trouble of collecting information about you, you'll tell me yourself."

"Sir?" I asked confused. I didn't get what he was up to. He wanted me to tell him about my past? What did he want to hear then, exactly?

He clicked his tongue impatiently. "Where are you from? How did your life go? Anything extraordinary? Your father is dead, but what about your mother? Tell me."

"I'm sorry, Sir, I can't," I replied nervously.

Levi raised an eyebrow, his tone getting threatening. "Brat, that wasn't a request you can refuse; it was an order you'll follow."

I swallowed hard. "I lived with my mother but then moved in with my father about a year ago... there's nothing special before the day you paid him a visit." It was a big, fat lie; so much had happened and sadly to say least of it had been normal for what you'd expect from a teen of 15 years. But I didn't talk about that, I couldn't. That hadn't been a lie.

He didn't buy it. I could see his eyes narrowing, could see his brows knitting and himself getting angrier with every second. The grey irises which had glared at me so intensely already darkened, as if a storm was about to come up in them -a storm that was heading my way, aiming for me alone. A natural force that could crush me in an instance if it hit me at full strength.

"Eren," he said extremely calm, reminding me of who owned me now. "You don't really think you can oppose me, do you? Because you're a fucking dog now. Maybe you need to be reminded of what that means..." He fell silent and I didn't even dare to move an inch. I was done for,  _so fucking done for_. 

I winced when he suddenly stood up. He snapped his fingers, just as he'd done on the first day. "Come."

And just like back then I followed him, this time expecting the worst. Oh, I had messed-up, how could one human being mess up so badly?

He led me through the corridors, down the stairs. We reached the floor with the dog's rooms, instead of heading right where most of the dog's rooms where located we headed left though. I'd never been here before.

"I ignored your audacity once, because I'm in a good mood," Levi began to speak, still walking, still looking forward. My attention shifted to him again. "For the second time I'm going to punish you. See it as time to think properly. Because you don't wanna know what's going to happen the third time. The next time I ask you, you'd better choose your words wisely."

With that he stopped, opened a door and before I even knew what was happening he'd pushed me in and closed the door with a bang. I heard the lock clicking and then I was alone.

I noticed three things at once. First: There were no windows. Second: The only things in this room were a matress on the floor, in the back left corner, and a lamp on the ceiling. It was flickering unsteadily. Third, as I noticed when I turned around: No doorknob. A bit of one, a leftover, was still to be seen. Looked like someone had broken it... someone who'd been desperate enough...?

Also it was dusty. I sneezed. Great. Locked up in a room for who knew how long, and I hadn't even had lunch. My stomach growled and I let out a groan. Threw myself on the matress and tried not to think about food... for some reason I couldn't chase the picture of a simple bread with cheese away though; it stayed, or should I say, it haunted me. 

At some point the hunger lessened; I lay there, arms crossed behind my head, and tried to think. That wasn't easy with an empty stomach alone, but with that damn lamp fucking flickering all the time every thought was like water in the palms of my hands. I hated this goddamn fucking lamp to an extend I'd have never expected was possible.

Should I break it? In the end I just took off my shoe and threw it at the light switch because I didn't really feel like standing up right now. Sweet darkness. As gladly as I welcomed it, I also knew that it could hold the horrors of my past. Which had gotten me into this mess, by the way. Only because I couldn't talk about them -not that the mafia boss would've been the person of my choice for that talk anyway.

That I didn't _want_ to tell him was another thing, although I hadn't been able to free my voice of all the defiance before either and he must've noticed it. Also, I _couldn't_ tell anyone, my mouth would open but it wouldn't form words, that's how it always went.

And I could never tell him that I had killed already. I was too scared of what he'd do with this kind of information; scared he'd make me do it again. Lying wasn't an option either, since I was a terrible liar even without Levi being able to read me like a book. However he did that. I supposed that it was just one of the abilities a mafia boss had to have.

At some point I must've fallen asleep, because the clicking of the door's lock woke me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually this chapter got too long so I had to cut it into two and I'm almost done with the second part... I won't promise anything, but it's possible that I'll upload the next chapter very very soon n.n  
> Oh and don't forget to give me some feedback, alright? It always makes me happy when I get to know that I'm not talking into a void here ^^;;


	4. Complicated Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren's past so here you goo
> 
> Enjoy~  
> And don't forget to give me some feedback n.n

_Shit! I still don't know what to tell him!_ He'd been right; I really didn't want to know what would happen the third time. I toyed with the notion of playing dead for a second, although this wouldn't help me at all. When I blinked at the silhouette in the doorframe anyway I noticed that it was wrong somehow. Way too tall to be _him_.

"Oh," I heard a familiar voice, slightly surprised at the pitchblack darkness in the room.

"Marco?" I couldn't believe it was him! Not only did that mean I was safe for the moment but also was he the one I got along best with till now. "Wait a sec..." I took off my other shoe and threw it in the direction I knew the light switch was in.

I could hear it hitting with a thud; the light went on and the damn lamp started flickering immediately, blinding me for a second. When I could see clearly again Marco stared at me with a bewildered expression on his face.

"How did you do that?" he asked. I only shrug my shoulders.

"Luck," I put him off.

"Luck? Two times?" he wondered with a look at my shoes.

I stood up, stretching my arms over my head and went over to the door, where my shoes lay in front of the wall, right under the light switch. I picked them up, slumping back on the mattress to slip back into them.

"Obviously the light was turned on the first time, so it wasn't that difficult, and just now was luck," I replied meanwhile. "Anyway, what're you doing here?"

"I should be the one asking you that," Marco sighed. "What for Heaven's sake did you do to make the Boss angry enough to actually throw you into the basement?"

"He wanted information I couldn't give him," I muttered. "And I lied to him."

In the end it had been all about power again. Levi would get the information either way, but he'd wanted me to tell him and I'd refused -what's more, I'd even lied.

"Why'd he want you to tell him something you don't know about?" Marco wondered with a puzzled expression. He'd misunderstood.

"Nah..." I replied. "That's not it. He wanted me to tell him about my past."

"But...?" Now he looked really confused.

" _But_ I couldn't."

Marco didn't say a word, simply waiting for me to explain to him how I'd gotten myself into this mess.

"You see, I just can't talk about it. That's it. I've gone through quite some shit already and it seems like at some point... back then, I hit my head or something." A weak joke, accompanied by a weak laugh. "I haven't been able to talk about it ever since."

"Looks like you're in quite some deep shit, eh?"

"Dude, you don't know _how_ deep," I sighed. "He expects me to tell him everything once he comes back... whenever that will be. I don't even know how long I'm here already. What time is it?"

"I can't tell you, that's one of the basement's rules; no time in here... Geez, I shouldn't even be talking to you."

Wait, what? And still he did? Fucking moron, he was just too nice for the mafia. "Hey, Marco, don't get yourself into trouble just because of me, alright?" Jean would kill me. For some reason he was very protective when it came to Marco. And I didn't want him to get into any trouble either, of course. He had become a friend to me, too.

But wait...

"What're you here for then?"

"Oh, that's right! I almost forgot! I brought you something to eat!" He handed me some bread with cheese and a bottle of water and my stomach growled again, as if to remind me of how hungry I was.

"Dude, you're a lifesaver! Thanks a bunch, I owe you!"

Marco only smiled. "Actually it was Boss' order, so you'd rather thank _him_." Sure. If it hadn't been him who'd dragged me into all of this by force...

"I owe him too, you know?" The young man said with a peaceful smile that made it impossible to hate him. "I'm alive thanks to him."

Now that was something new. We'd never talked about why we were here, nor about our past lifes, since we had turned our backs at them anyway. And I still didn't want to know -that would make me feel like I had to tell him my story too, and I'd never do that.

"Marco," I interrupted him in a hushed tone. "Thanks for everything, really, but shouldn't you be going? I bet Jean's searching for you already."

"Yeah... I'm glad though, that you're alright till now. I've heard about guys who got totally mad in here." His words reminded me of the doorknob. There sure as hell must've been at least one.

"Don't worry, I'm fine by myself. I don't even have to work, it's more like holidays or something. The only thing that really annoys me is that fucking lamp."

Marco laughed at that and left; and with the clicking of the lock I dropped my mask and let out a sigh. This wasn't like holidays at all. I did like being by myself for once, but I couldn't relax; I still had to think about what to tell Levi the next time he would open this door. _How_ to tell him. 

I forced myself to eat and drink, although it was hard with the lump in my throat. I should've done it before thinking too much... Throwing my shoe at the light switch as hard as I could again didn't help much this time; at least the goddamn lamp stopped flickering. If I couldn't tell him I'd be done for. Even more than I was already. He was a Don, a mafia boss, while I was nothing more than a mutt, and he'd get what he wanted one way or the other.

In the end all I could do was practicing. Working the words out in my head at first, surrounded by the pitchblack darkness. It felt kinda safe this way and I dared to say them out loud, whispering, stuttering and stopping often in the beginning. The longer I tried the better it worked, until, after a hundred times at least as it felt, I could say the words fluently and in a normal volume. 

That didn't mean I would be able to do so once I would face _him_ again, but it was more than I'd ever managed to do already. It made me a little proud to be honest.

"I'll do it..." I muttered, drifiting off to sleep again.

* * *

The next time I heard the clicking of the lock I was awake already. I sat up, blinking at the silhouette in the doorframe just long enough to confirm it wasn't _him_. Marco then, again? 

"Hold on a sec, Marco," I said, taking off my remaining shoe. This time I closed my eyes before throwing it to not be blinded by the light. Hearing the thud was kind of satisfying; and closing my eyes had been a good idea. It didn't even take as half as long for my eyes to get used to the light again. I looked up at Marco... just that it wasn't him.

"Sir!" I bursted out in surprise. In the doorframe, raising an eyebrow at me now, was no less a person than Mike, the Don's second-in-command.

"Get out," he said. "The Boss wants to talk to you." I hurried to follow his order, putting on my shoes as I was walking already. "...And go take a shower beforehand. You've got ten minutes."

* * *

Exactly 12 minutes later we were standing in front of the Don's office again, my hair still dampish but clean and I myself not any less nervous than before. Mike knocked on the door and we entered the room I wanted to be in the least. Not that I'd have a choice though.

The tall blond took up position in the background, behind the Don, arms folded in front of his chest and his face expressionless. 

"So?" Levi asked. No mocking, no 'Did you sleep well?', no 'Did you think your story over?' -just the scariest man I knew and his second-in-command waiting. I swallowed hard.

"I... This could take some time, Sir."

"You should sit down then."

I did as he'd told me to and began, trying not to think about what I was saying too much.

"My mother's family immigrated from Turkey to America a while before she was born. Her parents were Muslims, rather conservative, and they raised her and her older brothers in the same way. My mother was born into a younger generation though, and not as conservative as the rest of her family.

She met my father through coincedence, more than one time actually and they... well obviously they liked each other and started to meet each other secretly."

 _Maybe,_ she had told me once, _Maybe it was the way I felt with him. He was intelligent, good-looking and he never told me to behave like a good woman like my parents... Being with him felt free, because of him and because it was my own decision and my own risk -an adventure in a world I'd always felt restrained in._

"She... got pregnant at age 18. Without a marriage, without anything -her parents hadn't even known about those meetings. My father... he made a run for it, fearing the consequences of what he'd done -what they'd done, just that my mother couldn't simply run away- and fearing her father and her brothers even more."

Fucking asshole.

"When my mother couldn't hide her pregnancy any longer she ran away from home, leaving only a letter. When I was born she had arrived in Germany already, where I grew up."

I remembered her being careful, very careful, when I'd been small. Little things you wouldn't notice nor remember if you were not a concerned five-year-old. Over the years she had become more carefree though, as if the life with her family had been nothing more than a dream. She'd found a job, she'd laughed more... it had been a simple but happy life.

"She always talked about America, about her origins and going back there one day. She raised me bilingual." 

 _Who knows, maybe you'll become an interpreter,_ she'd said with a smile and I'd had no objections. I'd enjoyed her pointing on objects and telling me their English names; and the English conversations we'd had later on. I wasn't that intelligent, not like that one guy I'd met in school one time much later, and learning a new language had been hard for me but with mum it had also been fun.

"We moved when I was twelve, to Illinois. That my uncles found us was a coincedence. My mother had become too careless, after so many years had passed." 

It had all been because of that one trip to my mother's hometome.

"He came on a Sunday."

It'd been a warm day, sunny, and we'd sat in our little kitchen and thought about what to do with a good day like this one while I'd done homework for my Italian class. I'd worked hard for that one, because I'd still intended to become an interpreter one day.

"My uncle, my mother's oldest brother, knocked on our door, and they talked in a mix of Turkish and English. All I could understand was something about the family's honour. Both of them got very angry quite fast... And then he... he had a gun out of nowhere and..."

I bit my lower lip, my eyes fixed on the table. I'd known that this would be one of the hardest parts, but I could do it. _Just don't think too much..._

"Then he shot her." 

I'd seen my mother die in front of me, with a surprised expression on her face... although I couldn't really remember her face anymore; I really was a horrible son.

"To this day I still don't know how..."

My mother had given me a last look before her eyes had broken. Overwhelming sadness and then anger. Boiling hot anger and my world had become a chaos. He'd tried to shoot me, too, but it had been only a graze shot and I hadn't even felt the pain thanks to the adrenaline.

"I somehow got his gun and I shot _him._ I blew his fucking head off."

And it had felt so _good_.

"The neighbours had heard the noises and after the gunshots they came looking for us and found me, with the gun still in my hands. I couldn't be charged with murder because I still was a minor and nobody really thought about doing that anyway after I'd lost my mother like that. But I had to move to an orphanage."

I'd been quite a troublesome kid though, and I'd lived in more than one orphanage, being forced into more than one useless therapy to get over what had happened.

"I told them my father's name -that was all I knew about him- and eventually they even found him about a year ago. He took me in. We didn't get along that well though."

He'd told me he wanted to make up for what'd happened, but I hadn't forgiven easily. Actually I hadn't forgiven him at all. I'd blamed him for everything, for impregnating my mother and simply running away afterwards, and, indirectly, for her death as well. And, as I thought now, maybe he'd blamed himself even more.

"Actually... I was lucky I'd chosen Italian classes back in school; made everything easier."

It had been another coincedence that my father had lived in Italy of all places. It had been hard at first, but at least I'd known more than the basics of the Italian language already. A few months later I'd been good enough to hold conversations without having to think for too long.

"We'd started to get along a wee bit better the week before you killed him, although not much."

Talking about his death didn't hurt anywhere near as much as talking about my mother's. I'd hardly known him, what's more I had despised him most of my life. He'd brought this upon himself.

 _On that first evening you imagined his face though,_ a mean voice in the back of my head whispered. Yeah I had. Because I hadn't been able to visualize my mother's any longer; and I'd needed a feeling of comfort so much that it hadn't mattered anymore... It had been the feeling of back when I'd been little, when she'd hold me after a nightmare or after I'd fallen and hurt myself, only that I'd had to replace herself with my father. _She'd have deserved a better son..._

I took a deep breath and looked up again. "That's it."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shitty backgroundstory actually... I guess it didn't really work out like I wanted it to ^^;; ...


	5. Reassessing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, Levi's POV again in this one ^o^ (at least for the first part) 
> 
> It's quarter past midnight right now, I don't know if I've found all those little mistakes and stuff (so tell me if you find some, please) and I don't know if uploading this now is a good idea either but I'll do it anyways because I'll sleep a lot better once I did...  
> Gosh, I had lots of troubles with this chapter and I couldn't even find the right point to cut it off at the end... =/ (Also the title of the chapter only fits the first part because Eren kinda sneaked in right behind my back when I wasn't looking, I really didn't plan on him saying /anything/ in this chapter...) 
> 
> ANYWAY  
> Enjoy! :)

"That's it." The teen's eyes met Levi's.

Green-ish blue, an amazing color, unlike his own ones which where just grey and, most of the time, cold and hard as steel. Eyes that had seen more deaths than they could count; black holes of grey colour belonging to the man who had caused most of those deaths with his own hands. Eren's eyes, in the contrary, were like windows into his soul.

Right now they were darkened, telling from a sadness that still dwelled deep within him, and from anger. He did not cry, but maybe he'd just used up all his tears already. The sadness in his eyes was much deeper than it would've been if crying would'v helped. Maybe time would be the only thing capable of that... _Time heals all wounds_ , wasn't that how the saying was going?

Levi forced himself back into the here and now; he'd almost lost himself inside that brat's eyes. There was something within them, something strong apart from the determination; the boy might not even know himself... and Levi wanted it. He wanted it to be his, wanted this power to listen to his command.

Right now he might've been nothing more than a mutt Levi'd picked up from the streets, but he would become his guard because the Don wanted to. And Levi, head of the Cascioferro clan, always got what he wanted. The boy was still waiting for any reaction, the room having fallen silent after his last words.

Mike was still standing behind him, literally having his back like he always did since that one time... That was all he did though. He was not the kind of man who talked too much -he barely did. Without a good reason, that is. Talking had become Levi's matter somehow, although he was terrible at it.

He'd become better, and he would continue to get better at it in the future, as he got more than enough practice, but that didn't mean he had to like it. Talking to people -even interacting with them sometimes- made him insecure, feeling clumsy although he couldn't let that show. He was the Cascioferro's Don, and not allowed to have many weaknesses.

He wasn't allowed to have _any_ ; but even if he would've been, plain _socializing_ could've never been one of them. The clan's well-being depended on that. Yes, there were Mike and the full members, there were the wifes who were also mothers if needed and they had their own little businesses as well; and then there were even the dogs who did their share of the work.

And this house might have been the base and the real home to any member of the clan, but there were others throughout Italy... And yet the biggest part of the clan's fate rested upon the shoulders of its Don - _his_ shoulders. And nothing would change that.

So, whatever happened, he was the one to talk. Fucking responsibilities.

He nodded. "Alright. You can leave."

And Eren obeyed, without any questioning, relieved to get away at last, as it seemed.

"What do you think, Mike?" Levi asked, again breaking the silence that had returned after the boy had closed the door behind him.

"He's... I'm not sure if he's as harmless as he seemed to be, Sir," the tall blond replied, moving from the wall, now half leaning against the desk, half sitting on it.

"Not as harmless?" the Don repeated, raising an eyebrow. "He fucking killed his first man at age twelve! And did you see that look he gave when he talked about it? He  _liked_ killing that man! And how many times do I have to tell you to behave normal when nodody's around? I can't stand you calling me 'Sir' all the time. You know me better than that, don't ya?" 

"Alright... Levi," Mike smiled faintly. "I don't think the kid is that dangerous," he continued after he had fallen silent for a moment, overthinking what he'd just seen and heard. "He had his reasons to kill him; what'd you've done if somebody just killed your mother in front of you? Ah never mind..." Levi had never known his mother. He'd lived in an orphanage for the first years of his life, running away at age ten and getting involved with the mafia by accident.

Dot, the former Don, had taken him in to his surprise, always seeing something within the child he wouldn't tell him, something that made him worth living instead of being killed for robbing a member of the family. Well, at least he'd  _tried_ to rob the man, not even knowing what exactly he was doing at the time.

Levi hadn't understood back when the old man had still been alive, and he didn't understand now either, without any chance to ask him any longer, though.

Mike fingered his beard. "He even had the guts to rise up against that man -and the luck to make it out alive. I don't think he'll start just randomly killing out of fun... Seems rather to be horrified to do so, I wouldn't bet on him even seriously laying hand on anybody anytime soon. Besides, he doesn't smell dangerous."

Well, that was Mike's rating -and Levi had learned to trust it, to trust _him_ , long before he'd become the capo. "Doesn't smell dangerous, eh?" He repeated, chuckling lightly. "Did I miss something? I didn't saw you sniffing him."

Sniffing... that's what Mike usually did. It was weird for everybody who experienced it for the first time, and was still weird for Levi, although he was used to it by now, after years of watching the tall blond doing exactly this: Sniffing people. People he met for the first time he sniffed, afterwards able to tell if they were dangerous or not. And he'd always been right with his predictions. 

His second-in-command simply shrugged his shoulders. "No need to," he replied. "I could smell it from the driver's seat the moment the boy opened the door. He's kinda... exposed in that way, isn't he? You can read him, too, even without me telling you."

"Yes," came the answer a moment later. "But unlike you I'm not sure anymore. That look in his eyes was totally mad. I know what I saw and unlike you I don't have a nose that tells me otherwise. We have to think of the family first... If there's even the slightest possibility that he'll cause harm to the clan, or even endanger it, I'll have to finish him off immediately." In which case he would be fucking angry.

"I don't think he would, really..." said Mike in a musing tone. "I'm pretty sure we'll be able to handle him. And as I said before: I don't think he'll be trying to hurt someone for real, I'm not even sure if _you_ could make him do that... He seems deeply afraid of killing, or even hurting someone seriously."

"Except Jean."

"Except Jean," the blond admitted chuckling lightly. "But that's something else, isn't it?" 

Of course it was. Both of them were quite similar. They didn't see it themselves -a sign of  _how_ similar they were- and so they fought. That Levi didn't care about those fights didn't mean that he didn't know about them. He watched over Eren; the day he'd taken him in against his will he'd undertaken that responsibility as well. 

He always had his eyes on the boy, making sure he wouldn't cause any troubles. Now that some time had passed though he saw that he wouldn't have had to worry that much. Eren seemed to integrate just fine. He got along with everyone, except for Mikasa for some reason; he avoided the younger girl wherever he could...

Levi slightly wondered what had happened on that first day to make her dislike him that much... Ah well, maybe he'd just ask her sometime. He could've asked Eren but something told him that it was better to leave him alone for a while.

And then Jean, of course. Their little fights increased, and no doubt they would also get physical soon. Not that that was a bad thing, as long as they didn't overdo it. It allowed Eren to let out his anger and frustration on somebody and kept him from causing real troubles. And it was the same for the other one, since Jean wasn't here out of his own free will either...

Of course Levi hadn't forced him to join them -Eren had been the first one to join the clan like this- but life had. Sometimes life just was such a bitch, forcing decisions on people they wouldn't have made otherwise. That Levi had taken them in had most likely saved Jean's and Marco's lifes back then.

But back to the real problem. That look in Eren's eyes _had_ been mad. "At least I know now why he refused to tell me right away, despite being obviously scared of me," the young Don sighed. He'd made sure the boy was. "I wouldn't have told that myself either if I was him." 

Mike nodded. "Yeah. Also he looked traumatized. I wouldn't be surprised if he was." A quick, confident nod. "He's not dangerous. I'm sure."

"You know I trust your judgement," Levi replied, sighing again. He got a feeling that he did that way too often lately. "We'll still have our eyes on him -just in case." His tone was definite; he'd made his decision and the matter was closed for now.

"Something else," Mike got ahead of him before Levi could get on with the next topic. The Don waved a hand, indicating to the blond to continue. "The boy's quite sharp-eyed. And he has a feeling for aiming, too. When I went to get him the light was off, and he hit the light switch with his shoe, from the mattress where he sat and without even looking there.

If he ever is to hold a gun, I believe that he'd be a good shot. It's only four to five meters, that's not that far, but I've got a feeling he'd make a good gunman. He... had that kinda air around him if you get what I mean. Thought you might be interested."

Levi was. The chance that the boy would even touch a gun any time soon was pretty small though. Levi wouldn't allow it until he was sure Eren wouldn't go on a rampage once he did. Mike said he wouldn't, he'd never been wrong till now and Levi was quite sure himself, but a small chance was still a chance and he would never forgive himself if something was to happen to one of the others because he'd been too careless.

How much he hated all those responsibilities! He'd rather have cared only about himself. Although, at this point, he'd already grown into the position of a capo too much to just turn his back at them.

_Dammit, you old geezer! Why did it have to be me?!_

* * *

[Eren's POV]

It was on my way back to my room that I started thinking again. I'd done it. For real. I'd told someone; that I'd told _him_ had most likely saved my skin, although I didn't like the thought of Levi knowing all this. Whatever, he would've gotten the information either way. He'd told me that they did that with everyone who wanted to join the clan, usually _before_ they decided wether to let them in or not.

Did that make me special somehow? And if so, _why_ _?_ I was a 15 year old teenager without any specific talents other than speaking three languages. Not that that was a talent. I had worked hard to learn them, and anybody else could do the same.

I let out a frustrated moan as I entered my room, throwing myself on the bed and allowing me to just lie there for a few minutes. I didn't know which duties I was on today -I didn't even know which day it was. Was I even expected to do anything?

_Maybe I should just die here and now, that'd solve all of my problems, wouldn't it?_ It wasn't a serious thought. I'd never seriously thought about dying, well, at least not any longer. I had done that after losing my mother, but in the end it had been the thought of her that had made me keep on living. I couldn't just die when I knew she would've wanted me to live.

And after all I just was too much of a fighter to simply give up. Life had fucked me up, had destroyed my world and in doing so even myself, and I couldn't just lose to it now, no matter how absurd that might have sounded to an outsider.

My thoughts were interrupted by someone calling my name, making me practically jump and my heart skip a beat.

"Eren!"

It was Marco -thanks god it wasn't Jean. I didn't know how I would've reacted if it had been him; he wouldn't have resisted the urge to tease me about fucking up so badly. And this time I wouldn't have shot back words, but my fists. I knew he would tease me nonetheless, although I wouldn't let him surprise me as Marco just had. And maybe I would even be able to hold back and restrain myself from punching him.

The freckled Jesus -yes, I called him that, at least in my head- slumped himself on my bed, right next to where I sat now.

"You're back," he exlaimed happily. I wondered what had gotten him this happy... usually he was rather the quiet type than the one bouncing with energy.

"Well that's kinda obvious, isn't it?" I replied, rolling my eyes. "What happened to you, by the way? You look like you just fought in a war." There were traces of food all over him, something I noticed just now.

"Ah well, I kinda did..." Marco replied, scraping the back of his head. "I was in the kitchen when the chaos duo decided to start a food fight... and then even Jean joined and he dragged me in, that huge five-year-old." His words would've been annyoed ones if he hadn't looked that happy at the same time. "Which is why I have to take a shower now..." My friend let out a sigh. No, he didn't seem annoyed at all. He'd had fun, although he might not admit it now.

"Anyway," I changed the topic, because I felt this could lead into something too personal. "I need a clock now. Or even better, a calendar. You're allowed to tell me now, aren't you? How long was I gone for?" I wanted to know at least that before facing the horseface again.  

"Uhm..." suddenly he looked cautious and internally I hit myself for making the bright smile that had lit up his features seconds ago drop. Was it that bad? Maybe I shouldn't have asked; maybe I should've found out myself or at least asked somebody else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You should know I'm craving for some feedback by now o 3o  
> (Really, every comment makes my heart skip a beat and whenever I get one it makes my day and I get really happy = 3= )


	6. Quiet Mornings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. It took me really, really long to write this. (ohmygod the last time I updated this fic was 2014, that's 2 YEARS AGO ; o;)  
> I'm gonna say this now because I didn't before: I will never abandon this fic, I'll finish it and I'll try my very best to make it good, I just was in some kinda bad place and I couldn't write any more (apart from one shots, and even those took some time to work again... I'm really sorry this took so long. This chapter is a little short but I'll try to update more regularly from now on (not within a week or something, writing's still kinda hard, but I definitely will update)
> 
> Thanks to Umi who betaed for me and found a lot of stupid mistakes so you guys won't have to deal with them anymore! :D (If you still find any mistakes, feel free to tell me of course)
> 
> ALSO THANKS TO ASH  
> Your comment did make my day and it's the actual reason I was able to write a lot of this chapter, ao3 just didn't notify me for some reason so I never saw your comment before ; A; It must've looked like I had abandoned this fic (and was even ignoring your comment)... ANYWAY, THANK YOU SO MUCH, YOU HELPED ME A LOT! I really hope you're still interested in this story...

"It's been almost two days," he continued, still watching me cautiously as if I was about to snap the next second, one way or the other. I didn't really understand why he'd think that way -not only had it been my mistake that'd gotten me into that mess, but also hadn't it even been as long as I'd have thought.

"Only two days?" I asked surprised. It had felt like weeks... Well, but exactly that had to have been the point. "Jeez! Marco you didn't have to worry about me," I added, and he relaxed and smiled again. Not as bright as before though. He didn't ask if everything had went well. That I was here now was proof of that.

"Alright," I sighed. "You don't happen to know which duties I'm on today, do you?"

Marco raised an eyebrow. "It's afternoon already, so I'd suppose you have the day off. Go grab something to eat in the kitchen; I saw Maria there, you could ask her about your duties as well."

Eating sounded good -very good. I realized I'd been starving the whole time, and so did my stomach. It growled.

Marco grabbed his towel and left; at the door he turned around a last time. "I don't know if this is the right moment, but I might never say this if I don't do it now," he said. He looked embarrassed. "You know I... I think you're pretty good at aiming, and I'm quite a decent knife thrower... and... well if you want I could teach you and..." His voice trailed off.

"What?" I blurted out. That was the last thing I'd have expected him to say. To be honest, I'd never expected that from anyone, I'd never even wasted a thought on actually learning how to use any weapons, be it guns, knifes, or my own body.

I didn't want to. Even if that meant I'd stay one of the dogs forever, because there was no other way to become a full member: You had to know how to fight, and then you had to prove it. You had to prove that you were able to protect the family, to deal with its enemies, and that you neither lacked the skills nor the determination to do so.

"Just forget what I said!" Marco gushed the words out, even more embarrassed now, mistaking my surprise for disgust or whatever. He left before I could tell him that it wasn't like that at all. I'd do that later. First I needed something to eat. As if to remind me, my stomach growled again.

* * *

The kitchen was a mess. Connie and Sasha -not called the chaos duo for no reason- were about to clean up, together with Jean; all under Maria's watch. She was a tall, slender blond woman, usually kind to everyone, but as she watched the three of them now, her eyes were narrowed and bare any gentleness. She could be strict, although she didn't show that often. When somebody messed up with her kitchen or food, she did. She was the leader of the women, if you could call her that, the former Don's wife as far as I knew.

And even if you might not think of her as a badass at first, she was. That she was kind most of the time didn't mean she wasn't able to beat you up -I hadn't really seen it till now, only heard of it, but I had no doubt she was capable of that. Well, she liked me so I didn't really have to worry. Thank god. A smile parted her lips as she turned around at the sound of the door closing behind me.

"Eren!" She embraced me in a short hug before I could react, was gone before I could move and gave me a reproving look, lightly slapping my head. "I'd thought you would be smarter than getting into so much trouble!" Her tone was scolding, and I managed to utter an apology before she continued. "Welcome back, though," she added, her voice soft and gentle again.

"Yeah, welcome back, basement boy," Jean interposed from the floor, where he was trying to eliminate a white stain of something I couldn't identify any longer, his voice dripping with sarcasm and scorn.

"At least I'm not the one in trouble right now, am I, horseface?" I shot back in a challenging tone.

Jean opened his mouth, definitely to reply with another mordant comment, but he was interrupted by Maria.

"Weren't you about to clean up this hay you took part in making?" she asked with an icy voice that let Jean flinch and shut his mouth after a quick "Yes, Ma'am!"

"Jean is scared by Momma Maria," Sasha teased, grinning from ear to ear, but was silenced by a look of the woman.

"You're just the same," Connie muttered, but he was lucky and got ignored by Maria who turned back to me now.

"Did you want something, Eren?" she asked friendly, and I nodded.

"Yeah... I actually wanted to grab something to eat -if there's something left, that is."

"You're lucky, dear." It was a nickname she usually used on every member of the family if she wasn't angry at them. Maria casted a side glance at the three culprits. "I managed to safe some food from these clowns."

'Some food' turned out to be chicken soup, which I, despite Maria's offer to warm it up for me, ate cold. I was too hungry to wait even the five minutes it would've taken to heat it up, and, despite that, I'd always loved cold chicken soup, although some people seemed to be disgusted by this habit.

"Do you know if I'm on any duties today?" I asked Maria, who had gone back to watching over the kids and horseface, between two spoons of soup. Since she was the one who set us up for the duties most of the time there was a high possibility that she would know.

"No, no, not today, dear," she replied. "We didn't set you up for anything, so you can do whatever you want with today. Tomorrow you're with me and the others in the kitchen, at least more or less, like always." Although there was some kind of plan behind who of us worked where and when, it was quite loose; if we were needed somewhere else or if something came up, we weren't absolutely bound to what we were doing at the moment.

I finished off the soup and put away my plate as I tried to hide a yawn. Maria saw it either way, but she was sensitive enough to not point it out while Jean was still here. She just shooed me ouf ot the room, telling me not to stand in the others way while they were cleaning.

All I wanted now was my bed. There was nothing I craved more, nothing else I cared for than getting into my room, out of my clothes and into my bed. All of a sudden I'd been more exhausted than I'd ever been before. Maybe that was the price for telling the whole story to somebody else. I'd kept it to myself for such a long time that my body had tried to keep me from doing it, even though it had bothered, haunted, me. I'd felt that, but just now I realized how much it had hurt actually.

I was asleep before my head touched the pillow, deep and without any dreams I would remember when I woke up the next morning. I hadn't slept that well in years. For the first time in ages I didn't wake up feeling totally whacked. Marco was gone already -he got up early most of the time- but Jean was still snoring quietly in his bed. For once I was cheerful enough to not just stomp around and wake him as I usually would have.

I dressed as quietly and quickly as I could, closing the door behind me softly when I left the room. I headed to the kitchen first, intending to get something -food, preferably- into my empty stomach before thinking about anything else. When I turned the last corner, I ran into Mikasa of all people. Geez, that girl freaked me out. I still remembered the last time we'd been alone.

 _The obvious "But you're a girl!" had slipped me before I could even think about if I_ really _wanted to say that, in my situation, to a girl that clearly belonged to_ them _-to_ him.  _It probably had been the dumbest thing that could've come out of my goddamn mouth -the most stupid thing I had said in my entire life._

_She had merely narrowed her eyes, not bothering to keep anger and annoyance out of her expression. The next thing I had known, I'd been on my back, gasping for air because all of it had been pressed out of my lungs when I'd been send flying. My thoughts were slower than my body, and just when I saw her staring down on me I realized it had been her doing. Despite being smaller than me, so much more fragile, she had attacked me within the blink of an eye after the ominous words had escaped my lips._

_"And you're less than a dog," she had replied, her own lips nothing more than a thin line and her eyes hard as she watched me getting up again. Once I was standing, she'd simply turned around, most likely expecting me to follow her, since she had knocked on my door before._

I hadn't known what she meant at the time, her words leaving me only more confused and angrier than before, and we hadn't spoken on the rest of the way. Hell, we hadn't spoken much afterwards, either. I avoided her wherever I could, especially being alone with her. She was wearing a suit now, meaning she had, even at her young age, proven her skills and her desire to protect the clan. I had a hunch this was only to be accomplished through killing somebody, and this thought alone didn't help me stop worrying.

I liked to keep my life, as I had proven several times before with Levi. Averting my eyes I stepped aside so she could pass while I put as much distance between as possible in the corridor. She didn't even do so much as glance at me. And I was glad about the simple fact that she seemed to feel just the same way about me as I felt about her.

Letting out a relieved sigh when she disappered around the corner I continued my way to the kitchen. Marco was there, still eating, and he cast me a little, half-hidden smile before swallowing.

"Good morning," he greeted. "What managed to get you out of bed this early?"

"Nothing special," I shrugged. Stretching, I added, "Hunger, to be honest," I grinned, already on my way to the fridge. I found tomatos, more than enough for what I had planned. Cutting and putting them on a slice of bread with salt and pepper was something that always reminded me of my mother.  
  
She'd used to make this for me back when my world still had been small and bright. I didn't think of her very often, couldn't, but whenever I ate this I felt closer to her in a comfortable way. Silence spread in the kitchen as I lost myself in my thoughts. When I looked up again I saw Marco still sitting in front of his empty plate.  
  
"Hey, Marco?" I still had to talk to him about the other day; now was as good a time as any.  
  
He looked up, smiling. "Yeah? What is it?"  
  
"About the other day..."  
  
He blushed again. "Th-That's... Forget about that... I shouldn't have-"  
  
"No, no." Eren shook his head. "I just... You probably thought I was angry or something, but I wasn't. Really. Just surprised; y'know, I didn't think you'd offer... _that_. I don't want to learn how to use any weapons..."  
  
"I see..." Marco sighed. "But you'll probably have to at some point. I know you're not here out of your own free will, but you're still here, and this is not a game. If we're ever attacked, I'd like to know that you at least can somehow defend yourself..."  
  
He was right, we both knew that, but I was far from ready for it. "I know I should, but I just... can't right now." Not when the memory of the last time I'd held a weapon still caused me nightmares. I had already killed once, I couldn't do that again. I wouldn't. Not even at the Don's order.  
  
Marco, thankfully, only nodded and didn't ask any more questions, just took his plate to the sink and left for his duties. I took a few more minutes, chasing away any unwanted memories that threatened to haunt me again, before I did the same.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not that much action in this chapter, and I'll be honest, there probably won't be much action in the next chapter, either. We need to catch up with Levi and the clan affairs, and some other stuff before we can get to the real action... I might also edit this chapter later, and I'll certainly edit the others, because I found mistakes. Won't do this now, though xD It's almost 2am xD


	7. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should mention that neither snk nor the hobbit belong to me in any way. Unfortunately xD
> 
> It's been so long again (I feel horrible for taking so long to update... I'm sorry guys x .x)... I'll post it now, even though I haven't even read it over yet (I have a feeling I'll regret that xD). I literally just finished this but I really want to update now. I have exams in two weeks and after that I'll have about a month until uni starts again and hopefully life will be less stressy then...
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!~

[ Eren ]

Time passed peacefully in the weeks after the Don had last summoned me. It seemed now that he had heard my story he'd leave me alone; at least I hoped I'd go more or less unnoticed from now on. I was still scared of him, and more than anything I feared him ordering me to kill again, now that he knew I already had. I knew I couldn't do that, no matter what, not even if the Don ordered me to. But that didn't mean I wasn't just as scared of what he would do if I refused another order. Something told me he wouldn't just throw me into the basement again.

And yet this house had somehow become _home_ , just as the family members had become some kind of _family_. It was strange, I wasn't here by choice -but then again I hadn't had that before, either. Ever since the day my mother died I'd been passed around between adults, going from one short-lived home to the other even though I'd already known I'd be passed on soon anyway. At least that wouldn't happen to me here. And I didn't mind helping with the chores, which was really the only thing they asked of me. In Marco I had found a friend, even if I had to tolerate Jean, too. I hadn't really stayed anywhere for long enough to make friends with anybody. Except with Armin, a boy I'd met at school; but then I'd had to move again and I was pretty sure I'd never see him again. Of course there had been the few months spent with my father, but I'd never wanted to stay there, either.

Here, I had to help with cooking, cleaning or sometimes looking after the kids, which I really didn't mind. Connie and Sasha were... lively. Most of the time the two little tricksters would get their way -one way or antoher. Playing with them was one of the most exhausting things I'd ever had to do, they were always moving and if you took your eyes off of them just for one second they'd be gone and cause trouble to unsuspecting family members.

Today I was on babysitting duty; both Connie and Sasha had managed to catch a rather nasty case of the flu. They were getting better, not good enough yet to be allowed out of bed but good enough to _want_ to. Which meant somebody had to stay with them and make sure they got the rest they needed, even if they were of another opinion.

"Ereeeen," Sasha wailed. "We're really so much better already! I swear we're not sick anymore!" 

Connie chose -well, probably not really chose- to cough in just that moment and I gave Sasha a pointed look. "Really," I said.

The girl pouted and crossed her arms. "Well, maybe not Connie, but me!"

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Sasha, both of you still need to stay in bed. And I have orders. Orders from  _Maria_ I don't intend to disobey. That's it. End of discussion."

"That's no fair..." she huffed, looking away. A few minutes later she relaxed again, not really having the energy to stay mad for too long. "Ereeen?"

"What's it, Sasha?" I asked, sighing again. I was pretty sure she would just start the whole conversation all over again. 

"Why do you want to stay one of the dogs?" I blinked, surprised. Sasha was clever and she heard and saw a lot if she wanted to. Where she'd picked up _this_ I didn't know, but at least she wasn't trying to get up again. 

I smiled. "Who told you that? Besides, I've barely been with you for two months. It's not like I'd get promoted so soon, y'know?"

Sasha shrugged. "The women talked about it. They say you don't even want to be here. They say some of the family members don't want you to be here. And uncle acts strange with you. I was just wondering if there's a reason you don't want to get a suit or any of that. You wouldn't have to look after us anymore, too..."

I thought about how to answer her question honestly without saying too much for a moment. I didn't want to talk about killing people with her -I wasn't even sure if she knew about that or not. "It's just... a little complicated. There's a high prize on that suit, y'know? One I can't pay, and I don't really want to, either," I said eventually. I gave Sasha a little grin and tickled her lightly. "And who told you little pest I didn't want to look after you anymore, hmm?"

The girl squealed and wriggled away, burying herself under her blanket until only her head could be seen. "Eren, noooo!"

I sat back with a smile, satisfied with her in bed and distracted from leaving it any time soon.

* * *

[ Levi ]

"Do be careful, Levi."

The smaller man's eyes narrowed. "That a threat, Vicari?"

Don Erwin Vicari shook his head. "No," he said. "I do still offer you an alliance. It's why I'm warning you. But not of me, or mine, but of Darius Morello and his. I have a bad feeling about them."

Levi didn't snort, though he wanted to. The Vicari were another powerful clan, their Don an exceptionally intelligent -cunning- man, and he didn't want to risk a war by insulting him; he had more important matters to tend to. "I'll keep that in mind," was all he said. "I guess that's it for now?"

Erwin nodded. "Yes," he replied. "Think about it. And be careful."

Once the door closed behind the tall blond, Levi's shoulders sagged, losing a lot of their tension. "What do you think, Mike?"

His second-in-command stepped out of the corner where he had waited and listened, not hidden but motionless. He shrugged. "He smelled honest," was all he said. And really, that was all that was needed. Levi nodded slightly.

"Alright. I better go talk to Maria then, I guess. I need to determine our next course of action." Mike just looked at him, and Levi knew the blond wouldn't say anymore; there was nothing else to be said. So he turned and followed his fellow Don through the door, making his way to the kitchen. He stopped when he passed Sasha and Connie's room, hearing a little squeal followed by laughter.

There was Sasha's voice, and then Eren's. Eren. One of those other matters. He didn't think the boy was truly dangerous; after all, Mike didn't think so and obviously Maria as well, the way she let him look after the children. Those two where precious, a part of the family's future, and he knew the head of the women wouldn't let anybody even remotely dangerous near them. And hearing him with the kids that made a lot of sense; Levi stepped closer to watch from the open doorway and saw Sasha smile at Eren, who was sitting with his back to the door. He looked relaxed and at ease with the children, much more so than any other time Levi had seen him.

The older boy pulled out a book and started reading to Sasha and Connie, his voice carrying over to where Levi stood.

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort..." Eren carried on, telling the children of Bilbo Baggins and how his quiet life was turned upside down by a wizard and thirteen dwarfs. Levi watched him, listening to the story, thinking to himself that the boy had a good reading voice but not disturbing. When finally Eren looked up at the children and found them asleep, he let out a relieved sigh and closed the book, sitting back in his chair comfortably.

He didn't turn around, still watching the kids, and Levi set about moving on to the kitchen and his talk with Maria when he heard the boy's stomach rumble. He'd probably been sitting with the kids all day without much of a break.

"Eren," the Don called out without really thinking. The boy flinched violently and tensed, turning around in his seat.

"S-Sir! I, uh, did you need something?"

Levi shook his head, internally cursing himself for not having thought about how Eren would react; he was very obviously still very scared of the Don. Levi hadn't wanted to scare him right now. "No," he replied. "But you needa go eat something. Come along."

He started to move but was stopped by the brat's voice in his back. "B-But I'm under orders - I mean, Maria said-"

"Brat," Levi replied, hiding a tiny smile. "Whose orders do you think you should prioritize? Hers or mine? C'mon, the kids are gonna sleep for a while." This time, when the Don continued his way to the kitchen, the boy followed along. He stayed behind him by a step or two; not that Levi really cared.

He nodded at Maria when they entered the kitchen. "Maria, d'you have a moment?" he asked. The blond looked up from where she was sitting at the kitchen table, working on the list of chores for the next weeks.

"Levi? What brings you here? And Eren... aren't you supposed to stay with the children?"

Before the boy could answer, Levi waved his hand dismissively. "The kids're asleep and they won't wake for a while. I told him to eat something and take a little break. Now, something more important came up during my meeting with Vicari. I needa talk to you; in my office."

* * *

[ Eren ]

I didn't get to say anything as Maria, suddenly much more serious and much less relaxed, nodded. It's as if somebody had flipped a switch and I wondered if I'd missed something there, a sign or something between the lines.

"Of course," she said, and stood. She gave me a smile. "You're really good at handling the kids if you get them to sleep like this... Make sure you eat enough before you get back to them, and maybe take some snacks, hmm?" Then she turned to Levi, nodded again, and led the way out of the kitchen, leaving me confused but relieved that the Don wasn't near me anymore.

"Eren?" The voice in my back pulled me back into the here and now. I hadn't even noticed that Mina was in the room, too. With her black hair in two loose pigtails and an amused smile on her lips she handed me a plate with sandwiches -more like shoved it into my hands, really- and urged me to sit down at the table. "I heard how Levi told you to eat so I fixed you some sandwiches, since I was getting some myself anyway."  She was as cheerfully as ever and sat down with her own plate. "You look like you've seen a ghost..."

I shrugged and took a quick bite of my sandwich. "The boss is... scary..." I muttered.

Mina smiled. "He is. But mostly for his enemies, not so much for us, you know?"

"Sure," I snorted. "Are you sure he knows that, though?"

The young woman shook her head. "He cares about us. About the family. And that includes you, too."

I didn't really think so. I was sure the man hated me and sometimes I wondered if he'd shoot me the next time he saw me, end what he'd started that day in the ally. My disbelief must have shown on my face because Mina sighed.

"He did tell you to take a break and get something to eat, didn't he? Would he have done that if he didn't care?" she tried.

Now it was my turn to shake my head. "I don't know, I don't understand it either. But I do know that I didn't come here willingly and that the first time I saw him was when he... when he killed my father. He _made me_ come here, and even I can see how nobody can be sure about my... loyality. I didn't ask to be part of this, I was forced. I didn't get another choice."

"It doesn't matter," she said, kindly and more serious than she'd been a moment ago. "You are here now, and you _are_ a part of the family, and he cares very deeply for every single one of us even if he doesn't show it usually. I know it's not normal to join the family like you did -I don't know of any other case like yours. Usually people join us for protection or because they don't have anywhere else to turn to. Some, like me, Sasha and Connie, are born into the family and grow up here."

"But no matter where you come from, no matter who or what you were in your life before this, if you are here, you are a part of the family. And that means you will always have a home here and people who care. And no matter what you think, Levi is one of them." She gave me another smile. "That he spared your life means he saw something in you that was worth being saved. He might have scared you to make sure you didn't try to hurt any of us in the beginning, or run away and get yourself killed. But that doesn't mean he doesn't care."

With that, Mina made quick work of her sandwich and put her plate in the sink. She looked back at me over her shoulder and smiled. "Chop chop, Eren, eat and get back to the kids before they wake and wreak havok in their boredom. I'll get back to work, too..." She smiled. "It was nice talking to you."

She left me in surprised confusion, blinking as I tried to catch up to what she'd said. Levi? Caring about me? I was pretty sure he did not. All she had said about being a part of the family... about always having a home here, too... The thought was nice, and sometimes -mostly the days I managed to avoid the Don and, if I was honest, Mikasa- I did feel like that was true. But then again, how had Mikasa put it? _You are less than a dog_. I hadn't known what she'd meant with that back then, but now I was sure I did: I wasn't even worthy of being one of the dogs; I wasn't and wouldn't be a part of the family, at least from her point of view.

Stewing over this, overthinking my situation, wouldn't get me anywhere though. There was no other way than going straight forward, and that meant getting back to the kids and doing my job. Putting my now empty plate away I actually heeded the Don's advice and took an apple and a knife with me to share it with the kids when they woke. Surely they had to be hungry by now and some vitamins couldn't hurt them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll stop this here... this chapter might be the calm before a -the?- storm but I'm not saying any more here... the idea is only half developed but I'll most likely go with it anyway...xD 
> 
> I'm making this up as I go, I hope my plotbunny-gone-wild is still fun to read... =)
> 
> Also, in case you've got questions about the au or the story or just wanna chat, don't hesitate to shoot me a message, here or on [tumblr](http://www.tamithebibliotaph.tumblr.com).


	8. Uproar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is almost 2am. I have uni tomorrow. I didn't learn today but wrote another chapter instead. This one's a mess. I like it.

[ Eren ]

Up to this day I don't know why I took another way back to the kid's room than I had taken to the kitchen.

I just did. It was one of those coincidences that end up far more important if you look back at them later. I made my way down the deserted corridor with the dogs' rooms, most of which were either working or doing whatever with their free time. If I took the stairs at the end of the corridor I'd end up pretty close to the kids' room. I just hoped they were still asleep; Mina saying they'd wreak havoc in their boredom was a very real possibility.

And that was when I heard the voices. Now that wouldn't have been too unusual, hadn't they come from the room I knew couldn't be theirs, because it was the one I shared with Marco and Jean. The door was left ajar, enough to hear two male voices from behind it. I frowned, listening to them. 

" _Reiner, are you sure we should-"_ Something was wrong with those words... I mean, apart from the whole situation, the hushed-voices-behind-the-door-of-my-room-thing.

 _"We have to. We're here now and we will finish the job, Berthold."_ That was when it clicked. They were talking German... why? And what job? But the self-confident, second voice carried on. _"We're going to do this. Today, now. Just as planned."_

_"O-Okay..."_

_"You can do this, I know you can. Don't leave me hanging."_

_"I won't..."_

_"This is just another job. The last one."_

Silence.

Before I could even think of moving, still confused about what they'd been talking about, the door opened  and I was face-to-face with two men, one with blond and the other with brown hair. They stared at me and then everything happened very fast. The blond one shot forward and clamped a hand over my mouth, muffling my scream, his other closing around my throat in a bruising grip.

" _Do it now, Berthold! His office! Go!_ "

The other one, looking much more scared but just as determined, nodded and took off. I desperately tried to loosen the blond's grip on my throat to no avail; was he going to kill me just like this? I didn't want to die! I still had the knife in my other hand -a wonder I hadn't let go of it already; instead I was gripping it tightly, and now I tried to stab him wherever I could. I couldn't think anything apart from not wanting to die and needing to breathe. This was pure mortal fear and a very strong will to survive.

I must have striked lucky, suddenly his grip around my throat loosened and he was on the floor. His leg bled; coloring his jeans dark red alarmingly fast. I gulped in a few greedy lungfuls of air; it burned something awful but I didn't really care, as long as I just got more of it.

"Too late," the blond said, in Italian with a heavy accent, triumphantly. "Bert will finish job. Made sure Mike's busy somewhere else, so he's unprotected..." With that he lost consciousness. I stared at him, trying to catch up to what had just happened. What...? Which job? I was sure Bert was the other one, who'd taken off. I couldn't think clearly. Everything was happening so fast, without any warning at all...

_His office..._

_Made sure Mike's busy somewhere else, so he's unprotected..._

It finally clicked that they had to mean the Don. Of course! Who else? But... why? A quiet voice in the back of my head told me that this was an attack. Like the one Marco had talked about not too long ago. My body moved on its own accord; when I came to I was halfway to the Don's office already. I still couldn't think clear.

_"He cares about ever single one of us."_

_The way I had caught him watch me sometimes, even today when he'd scared me in the kids' room._

_"Too late."_

_The certain knowledge that the family I had come to see as my own in some way was standing and falling with him._

_"Bert will finish job."_

No. I couldn't let him. I wouldn't. I followed the brunette as fast as I could, not even thinking about calling for help. My throat was burning just from breathing, I wasn't even sure if I could make a sound. There was no time to do anything, I had to warn Levi. As much as he might hate and definitely scared me, he was the head of the family and I couldn't just let that guy get to him. I saw him knock at the office door as I rounded the corner and sprinted the last of the way, coughing and barely able to breath but managing to reach the door just as it was about to close.

"NO!" Somebody screamed with a hoarse voice. Me? My world started to black out at the edges and my consciousness left me, my body moving without it before it fell.

* * *

[ Levi ]

Levi was sitting with Maria in his office, talking about Vicari and Morello, and how the latter had been unusually quiet lately. And then there was Vicari, pushing for an alliance. The head of the women knew both of them from long before Levi had even joined the Cascioferro, having been the former Don's wife. She'd had a part in raising Levi, too, and he valued her advice just as much as Mike's hunches. He felt slightly off without the tall blond having his back, but he was at home and his second-in-command was needed elsewhere. That feeling of something not being quite right nagging in the back of his head was probably just him being paranoid. 

And then a lot of things happened very fast.

A knock at the door; it opened even though he hadn't called whoever it was in yet, which had him frown. _Unusual_.

A man came in, a tall brunet, wearing dog's clothes. He'd never seen him before, though. _Extremely unusual._

It had his frown deepen and himself standing and reaching for his gun. There was no one in this house Levi didn't know.

Maria stood as well, ready to pull out one of her knifes.

The man was pale but determined; he raised his arm, pulling out a gun himself and aiming at Levi.

"NO!" The hoarse scream came from behind the stranger; there was a thud and something hit the back of the man's head, catching him off guard for the second Levi needed to aim and shoot before the other had a chance. From this distance it was a safe bet. The man fell without getting to use his gun. Behind him, Levi could see Eren now. It was him who had screamed and he looked terrible; there was a lot of blood on his shirt the boy didn't seem to notice himself, but then again, he looked like he was about to pass out any second. And were that bruises at his throat?

There was an apple between the brat and the -now dead- intruder and a bloody knife in the boy's hand that fell down with a clanging sound just a few seconds before Eren fell himself. Levi rushed forward to catch him, picking him up bridal style, confused but not letting it show. Some family members had heard the shot and came running -a little late, but he couldn't blame them for that.

_Handle what you see first._

"Maria? Can you take care of that asshole getting my office all dirty?" The woman -bless her composure in any fucking situation- nodded curtly and Levi turned to the others who had arrived and were staring at the scene.

"One of you call Eld. Quickly. The brat might just be bleeding out." And he was doing so on Levi's suit. Yuck. "Two of you go stay with the kids, make sure they're safe. All of the others -and I don't care if it's your free day or if you've got some other job to do- search the house in pairs. Every fucking corner, nook and cranny, understood? We had one intruder, there might be more. Tell everyone. Move!" The crowd did just that, only one of them stayed behind, pulling out his phone.

_This is a mess._

Levi hated messes.

For now he had an unconscious brat in his arms, though. Two of his suits -Gunther and Oluo- followed him and he didn't object to it. Right now, with Eren in his arms, taking down another possible opponent would've been difficult. The young Don led the way to the hospital wing and found the boy an empty room with a clean bed. He told Oluo to go and get Eld here as soon as he arrived, ordering Gunther to guard the door.

With that taken care of he plopped down into the chair next to the bed with his gun in his lap. He pulled out his phone and pushed the quick-dial button. It rang once.

"Boss?" Mike's voice was as calm as ever.

"Get your ass back here. We're under attack. Come find me in the hospital wing."

There was silence and then the telltale beeps of the blond having hung up on him. Mike was on his way.

Now with _that_ taken care of, Levi leaned back into his seat. Pinching the bridge of his nose he tried to think of anything he might have forgotten. For now it seemed that everything important was taken care of. They'd been very lucky so far. Or maybe it hadn't been that much luck at all. Mostly it had been Eren.

 _And now you're here, half dead._ "Don'cha dare die on me, brat," he muttered.

The young Don was pulled back into the here and now when the door opened and Eld stormed in. The doctor looked positively furious; Levi could understand him well enough -the man was only half dressed, shirt and pants crumpled, his shoes unlaced. He shot a glance at Levi and pointed with his head to the door.

"Out," was all he said and the Don knew better than to disobey _that_ order. Eld would do whatever he could to save the boy's life, but he needed to be alone.

Levi stood and went to the door. "Save him," he said, quietly, before stepping out without waiting for the doctor's answer. He knew Eld would do his best, and his best was usually enough.

He ordered Oluo and Gunther to guard the door and turned to leave.

"Damn brat, what a waste of time," he heard Oluo mutter in his back.

Levi spun around and glared at him. "What did you just say?"

Oluo swallowed but didn't look away. "It's a waste of time to stay here just to guard that brat," he said.

The young Don stepped uncomfortably close to the taller man, narrowing his eyes at him. "Watch yer mouth, Oluo. The boy's family just as you and Gunther are. And he saved my life about fifteen minutes ago. If anything happens to him you'll answer to me, understood?"

"...Yes, Sir."

Levi nodded and looked at Gunther. "Keep him in line."

He left them without another word, walking down the corridor to meet Mike at the front door; his second-in-command had to be back soon. He turned the corner -and ran straight into said blond. Taking a step back he looked at him and relaxed a little.

"Levi!" Mike seemed upset. Nothing would be normal today, would it?

He nodded. "It's good to see you, too."

"You asshole!" The blond lightly punched his arm. "I was worried about you!"

Levi blinked and raised an eyebrow. "As you can see I'm fine. D'you think I'd go down that easily?"

"You told me to meet you at the fucking hospital wing! What should I have thought, huh?! Whose blood is that?"

The Don could see how that might've sounded. "Ah, sorry." He sighed. "It's Eren's. Brat pretty much saved my life. Eld's with him right now..."

Mike ran his hand through his hair. "I see. What's next?"

"Next is me taking a shower and getting out of this goddamn suit. It's ruined anyway. Then there's at least one dead body in my office, and everyone's still searching for other possible intruders. I need ya to keep an eye on things until I'm back; I won't be long."

"I'm not leaving you alone while there still might be other attackers around."

A sigh. "Stand guard at the door if you must. But someone needs to be here in case they find anything. Gimme ten minutes. Fifteen tops."

Mike nodded. "Alright." And that's all Levi needed to hear. Fifteen minutes later he came back out of his room, wearing a fresh suit and feeling much better.

"Anything new?"

"Yeah. They found a body down in the dogs' corridor. He's dead. Knife wound, hit an artery in his leg. Unlucky. Looks like there's been a fight."

"Eren..." Levi murmured.

"Huh?"

The Don looked up. "Eren. He had a bloody knife with him, and it looked like somebody stabbed him, too... So that was probably him. Anything else?"

Mike shook his head. "Nothing. We're almost done with searching the house and the rest of the property; the women joined in and helped out with that. We haven't found anything else until now, let's hope those two were the only ones."

Humming, Levi nodded. "Alright then. What about the kids?"

"Well guarded," Mike grinned, "and bored."

"Good. Let's go check up on Eld and Eren..."

 

Gunther and Oluo were still in position; they were good men no matter if Oluo disliked Eren or not. Levi acknowledged them with a slight nod. "Did Eld say anything yet?" he asked.

"Just that it's not as bad as it looks and that we'll regret it if we let anybody in there before he's finished, even you, sir," Gunther replied. Both of them looked uncomfortable.

Levi chuckled. "Fair enough. Eld's like that. He's a miracle worker though. Guess we'll have to wait, huh, Mike?"

"Hm. What 'bout the bodies of our intruders?"

The Don shrugged. "Maria'll take care of that. I have a feeling she wants someone to look after the brat, too, so it's alright if we do that. Once we're sure there's no one else on the property we can all go get some food and sleep and tomorrow we'll see what to make of this mess." It didn't serve anybody if the head of the family started to panic now. They needed a calm leader, now more than ever.

"Hm. I'll assign more guards for tonight."

A nod. "That's alright with me. Oh, and-"

Levi was interrupted by the door opening. Eld looked tired -exhausted- and not really in any better of a mood than he'd been before. "He'll be alright. Had to give him stitches but he didn't loose so much blood that he'd have needed a transfusion or something. What he needs is _rest._ " He looked pointedly at all of them.  _"Rest_ , Levi, do you hear me? I'll be back tomorrow, let him sleep and if he hasn't woken by the time I get back, I'll see if something more needs to be done. Call me if anything changes. If he wakes of his own accord, he should drink, nothing too hot because there's some damage to his throat and it should burn enough as it is. No talking either. Got it?" 

Levi nodded, allowing himself an amused smile now that he knew Eren was out of danger.

"Good." Without another word the doctor left.

"I'll go sit with him for a while, in case he wakes," Levi said. "If anything happens, you know where to find me." He turned to Gunther and Oluo. "You can leave, go help the others for now." Both men nodded and did as they were told.

"It's almost 4pm, Levi. I'll get you something to eat around six and take over, so there's somebody watching him in case something changes."

The Don hummed, thought about that and then nodded. "Alright. Go see if Maria needs help in the meantime. I pretty much left her behind in my office with only one of the suits. I know she can defend herself, but y'know. Just in case."

Mike nodded and left as Levi entered Eren's room. He hoped the brat would wake up soon. He had a lot of questions for him.


	9. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wheeee I did another chapter instead of learning like I should! \\(^o^)/ Dunno if I'm really happy with the Eld / Eren scene but then again, I'm really not good at actual doctor stuff... I hope I got it all right... I didn't go over it yet to correct all those little mistakes I make since I'm not a native speaker either, but I just really wanna upload it now... xD
> 
> Then there is a dream sequence in this which is written in italics. Just thought I should mention it, since italics are usually thoughts in my stories but it should be self-explanatory...
> 
> ANYWAY, have a whole Eren-chapter and enjoy!~

[ Eren ]

Waking wasn't the slow, easy drifting from sleep to reality I was used to; it was a jolt. My body snapped back into concsciousness and acted before my mind could catch up to anything. I jerked up into a sitting position, breathing heavily, my hands fisted in the blanket. A blanket. I was in... a bed? My throat was burning and my chest hurt just as much. My confusion only grew when I noticed that I was bare-chested and, instead of a t-shirt, most of my upper body was covered in bandages.

"Eren?"

I flinched slightly and relaxed when I realized that it was Maria who had spoken. She was sitting in a chair next to the bed.

"You must be confused, dear." She gave me a kind smile. "I'll explain everything, but do you want something to drink first? Eld, the doctor, said you should if you wake. There's some damage to your throat and it'll help."

I opened my mouth to say something but only managed a croaking sound, grimacing when it was followed by more pain.

"Don't speak, yet. Your throat will heal faster if you give it time. You should lay back down; you've been stabbed, too, and you need to rest."

She helped me drink some water and do just that; gently pushing me back into the warmth of sheets, pillows and my blanket. I didn't mind, but I was still confused about what exactly had happened. Not wanting to repeat the talking (or trying to) experience, I simply looked at her, waiting. Maria understood.

"I don't know how much you actually remember," she said. "You've been out of it since yesterday; it's afternoon now so you slept for about a whole day.There were intruders... Everybody is fine, though, you're the only one who really got injured." Her eyes hardened slightly and her voice lost most of its warmth. "The intruders were taken care of." She smiled again, her expression softening. "I would tell you everything that happened, but Levi told me to get him in case you woke." A light chuckle. "It's the only way I could convince him to leave..." 

At the mention of the Don I shrunk back a little. I didn't really want to have _that_ conversation already -not to mention that talking wasn't really a possibility right now. He probably had a lot of questions he'd want answers to... Maria must have noticed my obvious discomfort because she shook her head and clicked her tongue. "Now, now, don't look like he'll kill you or something." -so he wouldn't?- "He's been sitting with you for hours yesterday, until Mike came and took over for him. He was concerned about you, you know. Still is." She stood and smiled. "I'll go and find him, alright? You still need rest, so don't even think about getting out of that bed. And stop fidgeting; there's really no reason to." 

I knew her words were meant to be comforting; Maria as head of the women knew a lot of what was happening in this house and she knew how I thought about the Don -she was the only one I had talked to about it. Actually, she had confronted me with it and demanded that I tell her what was bothering me, since it obviously was plain to see for everyone -her words, not mine. I was left in the room, not feeling all that much calmer for her words and still dreading the door opening again to let in Levi. However, time passed without anything really happening, and now that I was alone I could feel my whole body ache. The blanket was warm and comfy, though, and before I knew it I slipped back into a deep sleep.

 

_People. Lots of them, all faceless. Strangely enough, that's not concerning; it's normal. They don't need faces so they don't have them. There's a huge crowd of them and all of them grab me, pull me close for mere seconds before pushing me away, into the next awaiting arms. I am being passed around between the faceless adults -they're all taller than me, so they have to be adults, I guess. There is no beginning to it and it doesn't feel like there will ever be an end, either. My sole purpose is being passed around without ever finding a place to stay; it's tiring, exhausting even, and I just don't have the energy to fight them off, so I don't have a choice but to go along with it._

_Hands grab my arm, pull me close, push me away._

_Hands grab my shirt, pull me close, push me away._

_Hands grab my shoulders, pull me close, push me away._

_And then there's hands that grab my_ hair _._

_It hurts but these hands, too, pull me close. However, the hands don't make a move to push me away. Instead, an arm is wrapped around my waist. I realize that this Faceless is smaller than me, then that he's not a Faceless at all. It's Levi; and he steps back with me when the next Faceless tries to grab me. The crowd simply vanishes, leaving us alone in a place that has nothing, not even a floor or walls; we're standing in a black void. Levi lets go of me at last, taking a step back when the whole family appears around us. There's Maria, Sasha, Connie... every single one of them, down to even Jean. It's another crowd, but this one feels more comfortable. I feel at ease in their midst; the exhaustion fades away._

_The next moment, all of them are gone, but they leave me relaxed and feeling rested._

_From there on out it's a mess. There's flashes of memories, of the time before my mother died, of the time after, memories of when my father took me in and of Levi and the clan. Everything is out of order, some things are gone before I can really process them and some stay longer than I'd like them to. Yet they don't hurt as much as I would have expected them to, either. There's a warm feeling in my chest that has bloomed in the midst of the family_ -your _family_ , _a quiet voice tells me-_ _and is now shielding me from the impact of reliving my mother's death and the time that followed._

 

The next time I woke it was to a dry mouth and the familiar pain in my throat. I frowned, not quite remembering my quickly fading dream but a feeling of lostness and then belonging. Those faded as well. I tried to move and was reminded of the pain in my chest -Maria had said I had been stabbed. I groaned, which only led to an intensifying of the burning in my throat, coughing and more pain. My eyes watered and the world blurred.

"Easy."

A glass was held to my lips and I drank greedily. This was so much better.

"Feel better?"

I nodded weakly -and froze. I knew that voice. And it was not Maria's. My eyes opened and I blinked at the Don, opening my mouth to speak. He held up a hand, frowning slightly. "Don't talk. Didn't Maria tell you?"

I closed my mouth and looked down at the blanket; it seemed safer than looking at him.

"You really are an open book, aren't ya? You don't needa be scared; it's not like I'm gonna hurt you," he snorted. "You saved my life." His voice had changed at his last words, had become somewhat heavier, quieter, and when I looked up I found his features softer than I'd ever seen them before. Usually, no matter what time of day or situation, the Don would wear a mask of calm indifference or annyoance. Never before had I seen him like this; he looked young all of a sudden, so much younger than he ever had before, and I remembered that he was only a few years older than me.

"I thank you for that," he continued, and despite the simple wording, his declaration held a sincere honesty that couldn't be a lie. It startled me, but I didn't let it show this time, or so I hoped, at least. I shrugged with my left shoulder, the good one, hoping it wouldn't hurt too much, hoping the gesture could convey what I was trying to say.

 _You're the head of the family. What should I have done, let them kill you?_ Though, thinking about it, I wasn't sure if the brunet would have managed to kill Levi. He had managed to catch him off guard, sure, in the very core of his home, but the man was vicious. He wasn't a Don out of coincidence; he had most likely and as far as I knew, fought to keep his position. But one never knew, and the tall intruder might have managed to at least injure Levi. I didn't really want to think about the uproar and chaos that would have leaded to within the family. It hadn't happened and thus wasn't worth even thinking about.

The Don snorted at my half-shrug and shook his head. He continued, more serious. "I do have questions for you to answer. But not before you've healed." A chuckle. "Eld probably would have my head if I did anything to disturb his work. For now, just one thing -nod or shake your head. Did you see the second intruder, too? Blond, rather tall, disguised in dogs' clothes."

I nodded. The one who'd attacked me. I could still feel his phantom grip around my throat if I thought about the few minutes that had decided if I would live or die.

"Was he the one who attacked you?"

Another nod.

"And did you see anybody else? Maybe heard them talk, mention any names?"

I shook my head. I hadn't. Not apart from their names, but I was sure that Levi wanted to make sure there were no other possible attackers and I hadn't heard or seen any of those.

The Don seemed satisfied with that -at least for now. "Alright then," he nodded. "We'll talk about everything else once you're better. Until then you're just gonna do what Eld tells you and get some rest. He should be here soon anyway..."

As if prompted by his words the door opened again and a man I hadn't seen before entered the room. His hair was a honey shade of blond and his eyes were brown, with a strict expression, which, despite that, didn't seem unkind.

"Talking 'bout the devil..." I heard Levi mutter, but the smaller man nodded at the newcomer -Eld, then?- and said, louder, "Eld. Good timing; he's awake now, though he wasn't when I first came in."

"Fair enough; he's been through a lot, needs all the sleep and rest he can get..." The blond hummed. "If you'd be so kind..." he trailed off, pointing at the door with his chin, his hands already busy pulling things out of his bag.

"'Course." I blinked surprised as he made his way over to door and out of the room, never having seen the Don giving in so easily -never having seen him give in at all, actually.

Once he was gone, Eld sighed a little and smiled at me. "There we are," he said, tying his hair back into some kind of bun so it was out of the way. "I'm Eld and I'm your doctor. I'll ask some questions, to know how you're feeling. Nod or shake your head, please." 

I nodded.

"Good," the older man smiled. "First, then, your name is Eren, right?"

I nodded, which earned me a small smile.

"Good. Now then... did you try to speak already?"

I nodded, grimacing slightly when I remembered the pain. Definitely not worth it.

Eld grinned a little. "Thought so. As far as I can see you've been strangled. There's some damage to your throat -Levi or one of the others probably already told you- but I don't think it'll be permanent. You should get your voice back as long as you're careful. Drink as much as you can, don't talk, and everything will be fine. Next, about that knife wound..." He paused. "It's not quite a stab but rather a gash, so you're at least a little lucky. It will still scar but it won't take as long to heal as it would've otherwise. About six to eight weeks, perhaps."

Wait, six to eight _weeks?!_ Would I have to stay in bed for all of that? Again, my shock must have been obvious, because Eld frowned.

"You're lucky it won't take much longer, boy!" he said in a strict tone. "You're not in a movie, this is real. A real injury that, with a little less luck, could have cost you your life. Be grateful you're still breathing and do as I say. And before you try to argue now, remember not. To. Speak. Nod if you understand."

I wanted to tell him where he could take his damn lecturing tone -oh, how much I hated that; I had been lectured in the same tone by codescending adults so many times before- but grit my teeth, swallowed my pride, and nodded. He was right, after all. Doing as he said was the fastest way to heal, and this really wasn't a movie or a video game where you could take a potion and your health bar turned back to green so you could go on. I wished it was, though. Kinda missed video games... I sighed a little, wihtout thinking much really; promptly, the burn in my throat was back full force, which made me cough and the pain worsen, which only led to coughing more. My eyes watered again.

Then, there was a glass of water at my lips and a few careful sips later the coughing lessened. It took a few minutes, but the pain faded as well.

"I told you to be careful," Eld sighed.

 _Well it's not like I wanted to talk! I'm_ trying _here!_

"Don't glare at me like that. I'm just trying to help you and save your voice in the process, if I can. Or would you rather be mute for the rest of your life?"

Of course I didn't. I shook my head.

"Right. Let me look for more damage then... Can you sit up?"

He helped me to do that with the pillows in my back, mindful of the knife wound; it still hurt and I bit back a hiss, relieved once I was sitting up at least some.

"Good enough." He started feeling my neck and throat with gentle, cool hands and hummed. "There's a bit of a swelling but that's to be expected... once it goes back, your voice should return. It shouldn't take much longer than a few days... still, don't overstain it, alright? Open your mouth, please... hmm... looks better than I would've expected, you're really lucky." He smiled a little.

Yeah, so lucky. I could think of quite a few things that had happened which proved the opposite.

Eld patted my good shoulder lightly. "You really are, even if you don't think so right now. You're alive, and you'll heal, except for that scar; I'm afraid I can't do much about that... Anyway, let's see to that next, hm? Afterwards you can rest, promise."

The doctor proceded to undress the knife wound with careful and experienced hands, his touch just as gentle as it had been with my throat. His motions were quick and sure, and I wondered how often he'd had to do this before. Was he a part of the family? I had never seen him before...

"This is looking good... I'm gonna clean the wound so it won't get infected; this will sting." That was the only warning I got before he carefully dabbed at the margin of the wound, never quite touching the stitches but getting close enough. Not wanting to go through the whole process of pain, coughing, more pain and then more coughing again, I bit the inside of my cheek until I could taste copper instead of hissing.

"There, we're done, very good. Well done, Eren. I'll just apply this antiseptic ointment and then we can redress your wound so you can rest." Therer was another touch, but this time it was cool and just a little bit numbing, making up for the burning sting from before. A minute later Eld asked me to sit up a little so he could redress my wound like he had said. Holding my weight like this without the supporting pillows in my back was more exhausting than I liked to admit. I gladly sank back into the pillows once he was done. My eyelids were heavy already.

"You did very well, Eren. Rest now, and don't forget to drink, alright? I'll be back to look after you soon." Eld patted my shoulder a last time and left; my eyes closing and my consciousness slipping away before the door even closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make writers happy and motivate us to write more~


	10. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EXAMS ARE OVER AND I AM BACK WITH A MONSTER CHAPTER  
> really, this baby is about 3500 words, that's A THOUSAND WORDS MORE THAN USUAL 
> 
> Also, don't get confused by the mafia names xD (bc sometimes they're only using the surnames talking about others)  
> It's Levi Cascioferro, Erwin Vicari and Darius Morello. 
> 
> AND NOW, ENJOY~

[ Eren ]

**Week 1, Day 3**

True to Eld's word, my voice came back within the week. I could feel it, at first only because the painful coughing accidents lessened and grew further apart. When Maria had entered the room with a bowl of some kind of broth the day after I'd first woken, my stomach had growled loudly -I hadn't had anything since the attack- but I hadn't been able to eat much of it before my throat hurt too much to swallow any more. Now, two days later, I at least managed to get all of it down. Maria gave me a bright smile. 

"I'm glad you're eating more... I was getting worried, dear, you know?"

Well, I had been worried, too. And hungry. Eld, however, had reassured me that even though it would be better if I ate as much as I could, I would hardly die if I couldn't eat much for one or two days. Even though I could surely use the energy. I smiled at Maria, trying to cheer her up a little. I really didn't want her to worry so much, she had enough burdens to bear. My throat hurt after eating a whole bowl of broth, but it wasn't as bad as it had been before, so I counted that as a victory.

I managed to whisper a "Thank you," wisely choosing not to say any more and overwork my luck so soon when I felt the words burn in my throat. It was worth it, though; Maria beamed.

"I'm so happy to hear your voice, Eren," she said. "But you should be resting still, dear. Don't use it too much yet, alright?" I nodded to that and Maria beamed again and, surprisingly, bend down to kiss my forehead before leaving me so I could do just that. With a happy sigh (that didn't hurt anymore) I sank back into the pillows once she was gone, not fighting sleep. Being awake, even if I lay in bed all the time and didn't do anything really, except from holding a bowl and eating, was exhausting.

**Week 1, Day 4**

On the fourth day I finally ran out of my luck, or at least that's what I thought at first when I woke sometime in the late morning to Mikasa sitting next to my bed. I blinked, briefly wondering if I was dreaming -more like having a nightmare- and flinched slightly when I found that I probably wasn't. She was here, looking up at me from the book she'd been reading when she caught my movement out of the corner of her eye.

"Eren," she said, with a little, acknowledging nod. I blinked at her twice, still not able to think about any reason she'd come here. She wouldn't attack me while I was down... would she? I knew for a fact that she hated me and was one of those members of the family who wanted me gone. But she wouldn't... _do_ anything, not against the Don's order -right? Not if he still wanted me here, not if he still wanted me alive. And he did. He hadn't faked that expression and the tone of voice when he'd thanked me. Why I was sure of that I didn't know, maybe it was just the simple fact that for the first time he hadn't just looked like a cold, ruthless killer.

"I'm not here to harm you." The calm words pulled me back into the here and now and made me blink again. I probably looked like an idiot, and like a deer in the headlights to boot.

 _Then what_ are _you here for?_

"I'm here to thank you."

_Wait, what?_

"You protected the Don," she continued. "That's... more than I ever expected from you. You didn't have to go to his office. You could've stayed where you were; you were injured and half unconscious anyway. But you didn't, so thank you, for protecting the family even though you have to hate it."

It was that moment that I realized that Mikasa had never hated _me_. She had simply hated that I was here, not out of my free will and thus remained a threat. She'd been afraid of me destroying her family from the inside out if I got the chance; not that I would have, but who was she to know? 

"Don't hate it," I croaked out. I shouldn't talk much, but this I could say. Needed to say. "'s my family."

Mikasa just stared at me, her eyes widening for a second or two, as if she didn't understand my words. She left without another word, probably to think. I didn't care much. Once the door closed I bit back another coughing fit and reached for the glass of water on the nightstand. I didn't sleep for a long while, staring at the ceiling and thinking about what had just happened, and what that meant.

**Week 1, Day 6**

The week was almost over. It was only the first of, if Eld was to be believed, around at least six, and I was bored out of my mind already. I had slept a lot in the first few days, but one just couldn't sleep that much. There was an itch under my skin, urging me to get up already, to move. I had never been sick enough to have to stay in bed for longer than a day. I usually didn't get sick at all. And now I was stuck here, and even if I wanted to I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Because Eld could be downright scary and he had been when he'd told me to stay put. Because Levi was even scarier and he'd told me the same. Because I was about as strong as a kitten right now.

This was so, so frustrating.

Of course, Maria and some of the others came to visit; Mina and Marco mostly, but one or two times even Levi stopped by. Surprisingly I didn't mind that much. He was calm, easy company. He never stayed long, though. He was still trying to find out who had sent the intruders in the first place. Levi told me not to worry about that, though. The house was safe now, he said, that they'd made sure of that. Not that I was worried. The truth was, I was just dying for any news -but for some reason nobody wanted to tell me anything. 

So, so frustrating.

I groaned. Yes, I could do that again. My voice was back, more or less -I still didn't talk much, didn't want to risk a relapse if I could help it. Watching the ceiling was quickly becoming a hobby of mine. Or rather, the ceiling and I were becoming really good friends. Knew it like the back of my hand.

Frus. Tra. Ting.

I was going to get insane here. Right here, in this bed. Mad as a hatter.

Which was when, to my relief, the door opened. In came Sasha and Connie, followed by Marco. Sasha's face lit up when she saw me.

"Eren!" She squealed. Before I could say anything, she ran towards the bed and my eyes widened, my muscles tensing in anticipation of her pouncing on me like she did sometimes. Only that I wasn't exactly in any condition to catch her at the moment. Luckily enough, Marco caught her before she could go through with it.

"Sasha," he scolded. "What did Maria tell you about visiting Eren?"

She looked away, pouting a little and crossing her arms. "...That he's still not fully fit and that we need to be on our best behaviour and can't play with him like we usually do," she muttered after a moment. Marco smiled and let go of her arm.

"That's right," he said. He looked up and smiled at me. "Sorry about that..."

I just shook my head. "Nah, it's okay. I'm glad you're here, actually. I'm pretty sure I'm slowly losing my sanity, having to stay in bed all day..." By now my voice was almost back to normal, and I was glad about that, too. I didn't want to scare the kids after all. 

"See?" Sasha perked up. "I told you it's really boring! Connie and I are not sick anymore, though, so we can come and sit with you like you did for us..."

"That's really nice of you," I smiled. "I'm sorry I didn't return, back then. I really wanted to..."

"It's alright," Connie chimed in. "You saved uncle and protected the family, and you were a hero." I opened my mouth to tell him that I was anything but a hero, for heaven's sake, but he held up a book and continued before I could say anything. "I brought the book you were reading to us, because it's really nice. I guess since you're the one sick now it's our turn to read to you."

I grinned. These kids...

We ended up with Sasha carefully lying down beside me and Connie sitting in the armchair by the bed, reading chapter after chapter of The Hobbit.

I must have dozed off for a little while, because when I opened my eyes the next time the kids were gone and Marco was sitting in the chair next to the bed.

"Hey," he smiled. "I sent the kids off to play somewhere else so you could rest..."

I nodded. "Thanks... How long did I sleep for?"

Marco shrugged. "About an hour? Not that long..."

"And you stayed here the whole time?"

"Ah, yeah, I wanted to talk to you..." He looked somewhat embarrassed.

I tilted my head, curious. "About what?"

"About, uh, d'you remember what we talked about that day you got out of the basement?"

The basement? That time seemed so long away, even though it really couldn't have been. Everything before the attack seemed like a long distant past, though. My sense of time was still a little messed up, and being stuck in bed didn't help it much. What had we talked about again...?

"Wait... You don't mean... about the thing where you offered to teach me knife-throwing, do you?" I had done so much damage without knowing anything about using weapons, I didn't want to actually learn how to hurt people better. I didn't want to learn how to kill.

But Marco nodded. "Yeah," he said. "Actually, Levi said he would allow me to teach you, you know, after what happened. So, uh, the offer stands." Not for the first time I wondered _what_ exactly had happened. Sure, I knew bits and pieces, but none of them had bothered to answer any of my questions yet. Instead, they'd avoided them, changed the topic and I'd let them. I'd find out sooner or later; for now I concentrated on getting better. And right now there was something more important anyway.

"Marco..." I started. I really didn't want to snub him, but I really didn't want to hold a knife anytime soon if I could prevent it, either. "That's nice of you, but..."

"But you don't wanna?" He smiled, so he wasn't mad, which was good. But then he turned serious. "I have a bad feeling, Eren. Something's coming for us and I don't want any of us to be defenceless. So think about it, okay?"

I swallowed. "Alright, I will. Promise." 

He smiled and nodded and we changed the topic to more harmless, nicer things until he had to leave.

**Week 3**

It didn't get better.

Not talking about my injuries -my throat hadn't bothered me for two weeks now and the knife wound was healing nicely, at least Eld said so whenever he came to check up on me and change the bandages. No, what didn't get better was the boredom. It was killing me. Slowly. The others kept visiting, and they'd even brought me some books to read. The kids usually came in with games; there was one time we played Mau Mau for nearly three hours straight.

Being able to eat what I wanted again was another big step towards lifting my mood. But then I was left to staring at the ceiling for hours again and my mind wasn't really the best companion right now. It gave me nightmares, too. Now that I was getting better my sleep wasn't dreamless anymore. I dreamed of the blond one... Reiner?... and of his fingers around my throat more than once. Thankfully, all the times I woke from those dreams I was alone.

**Week 5**

Eld was skeptical.

"You can't be healing this fast... You shouldn't even have been able to move after being attacked like that," he said. "And this wound shouldn't look like this. It really shouldn't. Though it's probably better it looks too good than the other way around." He glanced up at me. "You're not an alien or something, right? Because it would actually be a logical explanation."

I bit back a laugh and shook my head. "Nah, last time I looked, I was all human. Always healed fast though. Does that mean I can get out of this bed?" I added hopefully. After over four and a half weeks I was more than a little restless. I needed to get out of this bed. Out of this room, if I could. 

The doctor hummed. "Alright," he said after a moment. In that scary, stern tone he added, "You can get out of bed, but you'll listen to your body. If you get tired it's back to bed, understood?"

"Yessir!" I grinned. Seemed like today was my lucky day. I'd finally get out of here!

"Good. Your bandage stays on for another week at least, though. And if I catch you overexerting yourself even once, you'll stay in bed again, and I'll add another week just on principle. Are we clear?" 

Sobered, I nodded. "We're clear," I sighed. But hey, I'd still get out! And as long as I was careful, what could happen?

**Week 6**

What could happen, I had asked myself? Well, maybe this.

I was currently feeling... not so good. I'd have tried to make my way back to my room, but I had a feeling that wouldn't go well. I was with the kids right now; we'd played cards and then I had read them the rest of The Hobbit. Maria had asked me to look after them for a little while, nobody else was free at the moment and I had desperately wanted to do something that wasn't resting. And playing with the kids for a bit wasn't that hard. They knew I was still injured and they were not half as wild as they'd have been otherwise. At least until I'd closed the book and Sasha decided that I was to be Smaug. She'd declared herself Thorin and Connie Bilbo and they'd attacked me. The dragon. Whatever.

They had still been careful, but they were kids. And I'd been having way too much fun with this to tell them to stop. We'd fought a little and I'd scoffed innerly at Eld; don't overexert yourself, he'd said. I was fine. Totally-

"Ow!" There'd been a pain in my chest I hadn't felt before. So maybe that was what Eld had meant.

The kids immediately let go of me when I'd grabbed my chest and hissed in pain.

"Eren?" Sasha had asked after a moment. "Is that you the dragon being killed or is that you having hurt yourself?" She'd sounded uncharacteristically shy.

Taking a deep breath I'd shaken my head. "It's okay, Sash. I'm alright, just... just gimme a moment, yeah? Just need a break and maybe I should go back to my room then..."

Which hadn't done much for both of them. They'd looked at me with wide eyes, and then Sasha had blurted out, "I'm gonna go get help!" and had run off before I could stop her.

And here I was. I prayed to god that Eld wasn't here and that she wouldn't find him of all people. He'd make good on his threat. The pain in my chest was fading again already, but I didn't think I'd be able to stand, either. I really just needed a little break. 

"Eren?" This time it was Connie asking. "Did we hurt you?"

I smiled and ruffled his short hair. "No, buddy. I just overdid it a little. Not your fault, okay? I just need to sit for a bit until I think I can walk again..." _...before Eld catches me like this._

Sasha chose this moment to return with none other than the Don. "I found uncle!" She looked proud, and more than a little relieved.

Had I prayed for her not to find Eld? Maybe I should have prayed for her not to find Levi, either. The Don looked worried, with a dark frown on his face that made me want to flinch.

"What happened?" he asked. "Sasha was upset but she said you hurt yourself...?"

I just hoped my face wasn't as red as it felt. "I'm alright, sir. Just needed a break, really..."

"Eren said he overdid it and he can't walk right now," Connie chimed in helpfully. At least I guessed that he was trying to help. Personally I didn't think telling his uncle _this_ was helping me.

One of Levi's eyebrows raised. "Interesting," he said, still looking at me. "You don't look _fine_ to me either, brat. _Fine_ is not sitting against a wall looking like you're going to pass out."

I opened my mouth to protest, frown already in place, but he raised a hand to stop me and continued talking.

"I'm gonna help you back to your room so you can get some rest. And I don't care if it's boring or whatever. I don't wanna see you getting worse just because you're careless." 

Which was... kinda nice of him, I guessed. He did just that, supporting me with one arm around my waist when he saw that standing was difficult already. Once back in bed I relaxed with a sigh, relieved to have made it. He just nodded and turned to leave.

"Sir?" I didn't realize I had spoken until he turned around.

"What is it, brat?"

I really did hope that I wasn't blushing with how hot my face felt all of a sudden. "I just... you're not going to tell Eld about...that, are you?" I asked in a small voice. "Because he said if something like this happened he'd make me stay in bed a whole week longer just on principle..."

The Don looked at me, blinked and chuckled. "He would, brat. Don't worry, I won't tell him -this time. If it happens again, though, you'll be in trouble with him _and_ with me, so you should be more careful from now on, understood?"

I grinned, relieved. "Understood. And... thanks, for not ratting me out."

A shrug. "You learned your lesson, I guess," he said and left. He probably had a ton of other, more important things to do than looking after and helping me...

 

[ Levi ]

Levi quietly shut the door and sighed a little, not surprised to see Mike. 

"Worried about the boy, boss?"

"Don't call me that when it's just us. You're back already?" They started moving towards Levi's office.

"Hm. There's not much to be said. We couldn't get close enough to make out what Morello is planning, if he's planning anything..." 

"I see. And I am worried for the brat. Stupidly reckless, at times. I have plans for him; I can't have him running around like that, runining himself..."

"Eld says he's healing nicely."

"He is, I guess," Levi shrugged. He opened the door to his office and took a seat behind his desk.

"He _is_. He'll be fine, I can smell it." A pause. When Mike continued, his voice was much softer, more quiet. "He's healing, but what about you? How're you doing?"

Levi frowned. "I'm fine. I'm not the one who got hurt."

"Hm, no. But you're working yourself into the ground trying to find out who sent those assassins, and who's threatening the family. Don't forget to get some rest, too, alright? You're too important to break down; we need you." 

Mike just knew him too well. Sighing, Levi nodded. "I'll try. I need to find out who and why, though. Whoever it is, they're probably still a threat and we can't have that."

"Hm. You're not alone with it, though. Don't forget you have a family supporting you, Levi."

The tall blond didn't wait for an answer and just left. Levi looked at the door for a long moment, deep in thought. Mike was right, of course he was. A little smile played on the young Don's lips; his second-in-command always knew the right words, even if he didn't talk like that often. In the end he sighed again and decided to have an early night, and maybe find something to eat beforehand.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be shy if you want to tell or ask me anything~ Comments make a writer happy~


End file.
